CW: mentions of sexual assault and murder.
If you've spent any time at all on social media in the last few weeks, chances are you've seen it, or at least a reference to it.
"As a woman alone in the woods, would you rather run into a random man or a bear?"
This hypothetical question was first posted on TikTok in early April. It gained traction rapidly and now also appears on Facebook, Reddit, Quora, and the platform formerly known as Twitter. The reason for it blowing up the internet is simple-
The majority of the women responding are choosing the bear.
A look at the statistics regarding the numbers of women who've been hurt or killed by bears each year versus women who've been assaulted or killed by men ought to be sufficient to explain why most women are choosing the bear. According to The North American Bear Center, black bears (the most prevalent species here) average about one human killed per year. Other sources indicate an average of seven humans per year killed by bears of all species throughout North America. According to the US National Park Service the odds of you being attacked in an encounter with a bear are 1 in 2.1 million.
According to RAINN there are on average 463,634 victims of sexual assault aged 12 and older every year in the US. 82% of juvenile victims are female; 90% of adult victims are female. According to the National Sexual Violence Resource Center, one in five American women experience an attempted or completed rape during their lifetime. One in three victims experience it for the first time between the ages of 11 and 17.
According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics, there were an estimated 4,970 female victims of murder and nonnegligent manslaughter in the US in 2021. Data reported by law enforcement agencies indicate that 34% were killed by an intimate partner. According to the CDC homicide is the fourth leading cause of death for girls and women aged 1 to 19 years old. It's the fifth leading cause of death for women aged 20 to 44.
And then there's the everyday harassment and threats. Which are beyond anyone's ability to keep count of.
Responses from men seeing so many women choose a chance encounter alone in the woods with a bear rather than them have been revealing. Much of it is really disheartening, appalling; the amount of outrage, denial, and misogyny is mind-boggling. A TikTok video has sparked a larger conversation about rape culture and violence against women, and it appears that many men are taking it personally and reacting rather badly.
There are men who get it. They have some awareness of what women face just existing in this society, this culture, every single day of our lives. A lot of them don't even need to view it from the perspective of if the woman alone in the woods was their partner or daughter. And they're speaking up to voice their support. If you are one of those men, I thank you.
Angry misogynists seem to be the majority of men commenting on this. Or maybe the angry misogynists are just louder. Anyway, here's a sampling of what I've seen recently-
Other responses I've seen from outraged men include "More lying women blowing shit out of proportion again" (The statistics are real but sure, women are lying) "If there were as many bears as there are men you'd be in just as much danger" (Not the flex you seem to think it is) and "What about all the men who get attacked while walking alone in the wilderness?" (You're so close. Keep going.)
Here's a sampling from the few conversations I've attempted to have with men who are angry about the bear-
Like the snickers and leering grins they use in real life, the LOL reacts are beyond counting.
Some of the reasons women have given for choosing the bear include "The worst thing a bear can do is kill me", "I wouldn't be forced to carry the bear's fetus to term in 24 states", "the bear wouldn't stalk me when I left the woods", "If I was attacked by a bear people would believe me", "a bear wouldn't hurt me just for the fun of it", "The bear won't threaten to kill me for refusing to give him my phone number", "the bear won't pretend to be my friend", "a bear won't enjoy terrorizing me", "a bear won't murder me for saying no."
Most bears just want to be left alone and are okay with leaving us alone, too.
Somewhere out there is a guy who exposed himself to me in a public park in Phoenix, and asked if I would suck his d*ck. I was nine months pregnant, tired, and just sitting on a bench. I told him that I'd amputate it. I would have at least tried to, if it came to that. Fortunately it didn't.
Twenty-four years later my daughter and her best friend are chased through the streets by a car full of jeering shouting men. It doesn't end until they drive to the police station parking lot.
Women who often hike and camp alone have mentioned that they carry bear spray when they do. Bears aren't the reason why they carry it.
I started carrying a revolver while I worked in remote cabins up in Oregon.
It wasn't because of all the bears I'd seen in the neighborhood.
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For information and support regarding sexual abuse visit RAINN or call 800-656-HOPE.
A list of personal safety devices, apps, and safety features which are preinstalled in many cellphones and smart watches (along with directions for their use) can be found on Wired.com
For information about staying safe around bears visit the National Park Service bear safety page.
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Thank you for reading. This is an open thread, all topics are welcome.