Mitt Romney's best friend is Jerry Sandusky (and other things I don’t really believe)

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Tuesday October 09, 2012 · 6:51 PM PDT

2012/10/09 · 18:51

As a political blogger, I have long had a reputation as a pragmatic, level-headed fellow who often uses humor in lieu of shrillness. While I am proud of this reputation, it is one that has kept me from achieving the popularity I so rightly deserve. That is why, as of today, I will be changing my positions and attitudes to better take advantage of the current political atmosphere.

You see, with the U.S. election scant weeks away, I have yet to give my readers the passion, anger and outright falsehoods they truly desire. That is why, as of today, I will begin to produce blog posts that readers desire. In the upcoming days, I shall be releasing several new blog posts, including:

WilliamKWolfrum

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Wednesday September 26, 2012 · 5:44 AM PDT

2012/09/26 · 05:44

WASHINGTON, D.C. — A new Gallup poll today showing that a large percentage of Mitt Romneys think U.S. citizens are “jerks.”

The poll – which took the opinions of one Mitt Romney over a 10-state area – showed some negative trends for the U.S. public. By wide margins, American citizens were thought to be “stupid,” and “Jerks,” and that they “should not be involved in the governing process.

WilliamKWolfrum

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Thursday September 13, 2012 · 7:52 AM PDT

2012/09/13 · 07:52

DES MOINES – Appearing together on stage for the first time, Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney and former Vice-Presidential nominee Sarah Palin had harsh words for the administration of President Barack Obama.

“By even mentioning that he did not like an anti-Muslim video, Obama has put all Americans in grave danger,” said Romney, smirking. “And when I say Americans, I’m not including troops overseas, because I’m only talking about important things in this speech.”

Romney added that all speech of all types must be free, lest the United States become a totalitarian dictatorship.

WilliamKWolfrum

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Wednesday September 12, 2012 · 5:54 PM PDT

2012/09/12 · 17:54

WASHINGTON – The re-election campaign for President Barack Obama has made a $1 million donation to the Mitt Romney campaign. The donation comes on the heels of Romney’s recent foray into foreign affairs, accusing Obama of sympathizing with Islamic extremists, despite the fact that it never happened and that Romney got just about everything about the situation wrong.

Sources close to the Obama campaign said they wanted to make the donation to give Romney more chances to appear on television so voters could see more of him.

WilliamKWolfrum

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Tuesday September 11, 2012 · 7:51 AM PDT

2012/09/11 · 07:51

Today is the 11th anniversary of the 9/11 terrorist attacks on the United States. It is a day for remembrance of those who lost their lives and loved ones. And it's a day to remember those who have used 9/11 to advance their own political agendas:

WilliamKWolfrum

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Monday September 10, 2012 · 8:05 AM PDT

2012/09/10 · 08:05

It has been several months since I, William K. Wolfrum, formally declared my intention to run for the office that I deserve to win. Since then, I have had multiple donors who have helped me spread my message across this great land.

My message is built on simplicity – I deserve to be elected to the office that I want to win. There are multiple reasons why I feel deserving. For one, I love America. Truly love it. I believe America is the greatest county in the history of countries. More than that, it is better than the nomadic tribes that preceded countries. America is just a kick-ass country and I love it. America is where dreams happen. Which is why I deserve to be elected to that office that I want.

WilliamKWolfrum

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Tuesday May 17, 2011 · 7:32 AM PDT

2011/05/17 · 07:32

HEAVEN – Following a staggering donation to the Heaven Fund, the Koch Brothers will now have final say on who gets Raptured. sources tell this reporter.

WilliamKWolfrum

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Wednesday April 20, 2011 · 6:58 AM PDT

2011/04/20 · 06:58

Just moments after not being able to win back custody of his kids from a wife in rehab, Charlie Sheen shocked the world by coyly mentioning he may consider a run at the White House.

WilliamKWolfrum

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Tuesday March 15, 2011 · 8:34 AM PDT

2011/03/15 · 08:34

DES MOINES – Having declared that their current budgetary path is “unsustainable,” Bob & Peggy Thompson of Des Moines today announced that they will be cutting the $1-a-week allowance they give to their 5-year-old child, Jessica.

WilliamKWolfrum

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Tuesday February 08, 2011 · 12:41 PM PST

2011/02/08 · 12:41

David Broder stared out his office window. His calmness had an eerie quality to it, a feel that there was anger just underneath. This was a man obviously smarting from the closing of the Centrist Democratic Leadership Council, and it showed. Still staring out the window, he finally spoke.

"The DLC was never truly Centrist," said Broder, choosing his words carefully. "They are bitter apostates."

WilliamKWolfrum

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Friday February 04, 2011 · 4:13 AM PST

2011/02/04 · 04:13

WASHINGTON - After making campaign promises that they'd cut as much as $150 billion from the U.S. budget, Congressional Republicans could only come up with $32 billion in savings for the remainder of fiscal 2011, a move likely to anger their Tea Party base. However, deficit-hawk Paul Ryan, the Chairman of the House Budget Committee, insisted their work is not yet done.

WilliamKWolfrum

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Thursday February 03, 2011 · 3:15 AM PST

2011/02/03 · 03:15

WASHINGTON - Having returned to prominence with a campaign dedicated to promoting job creation and cutting spending, Congressional Republicans have made repealing Health Care Reform and redefining the word "rape" their two most pressing issues since taking control of the House.

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Mitt Romney's best friend is Jerry Sandusky (and other things I don’t really believe)

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Vote for me for that office that I deserve

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Charlie Sheen mentions running for President! Interview him now!!!

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