We know that all [white :-(] men are created equal, and that we have all been endowed with the inalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We also know that the Declaration of Independence was signed in a pretty ballsy fashion by John Hancock, among others, and that we commemorate the day they collectively flipped off King George III annually by engaging in some of our favorite American activities: drinking beer and blowing shit up.
Beyond that, I realized I don't know all that much about what the rest of the document actually says, and I thought it would be interesting to check it out. I suspected that a lot of the gripes they had with their despot named George aren't all that different from the problems we face under our George, and it turns out I was right. Grab a cold one, light up an M-80 and let's take a look at what the rest of the parchment says...
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