I was extremely shaken after an incident at work today. Let me preface this by saying I tutor students at a local college and most of time I am in a small office like setting with 2 or 3 other tutors. Usually I like to keep to myself, I read a book when not with a student and don’t interact very much with the other tutors (they are mostly middle aged women and I’m a 20 something male, not too much in common). They start talking as they usually do, and inevitably the conversation turns to the attacks in Paris. I want to part of this conversation so I just sit and read. Then they start talking about how we need to close our borders and not let in any more immigrants. Again, I want absolutely no part of this conversation, but for some reason this kind of talk unnerves me even though I try not to pay attention. Then it happens. One of them asks me, “Schobel94, what do you think about this situation.” I know what I should have said, nothing. I should have just kept my mouth shut and stared into my book. But for whatever reason I just couldn’t, a wave came over me and I just said I wanted to say, that these refugees were escaping unspeakable horrors: murder, rape, enslavement, not to mention complete and abject poverty. It would be heartless of us or our allies to completely lock them out just because we are afraid. That’s not our national character. We help people when they need help the most, even when we are afraid. Home of the brave, right? I tried to reason that the likelihood of being killed in a terrorist attack was minuscule compared to the likelihood of being killed in a car accident, or by disease. This argument, though, held no sway. This eventually cascaded into an ever devolving argument that descended quicker and quicker into the ugliest kind of territory. Anti Syrian refugees, anti refugees, anti immigrant, and finally, just the most deplorable pit of anti brown people. This is what I was afraid of. I heard stories of how much needed help to working class Americans was being denied because immigrants were taking all the resources. I tried to explain that their fears and anger that working class Americans were not getting the help and services they need was real and a major problem, but that immigrants were not the cause. I wanted to tell them that decade after decade of having social services and benefits stripped from working class Americans was the cause, and that the very ones who were to blame pointed to immigrants as a way to deflect that blame. I couldn’t quite get that argument out as an older student who must have heard our conversation came in and asked the women if they were okay, as if I was threatening them in some way. This unnerved me more than anything I think, anyone who knows me knows I couldn’t hurt a fly. Literally. When my girlfriend needs a bug removed from our apartment I carefully capture it and let it go outside. So the notion that I was threatening anyone was disturbing. Then the student goes off the deep end, going on about how his family couldn’t get the services they need because Mexicans were taking all the social services and welfare, didn’t speak English, and generally getting a free ride. I was told to just stop talking because I was naive, I didn’t know how the real world worked, and that I needed to just stop talking. No defense from colleagues, no repudiation of the vile racist speech that had just spewed forth. Nothing. So I took his advice, I stopped talking, and left. I don’t know if I can go back, I will probably have to talk to the Dean. In the end I found myself not angry, or annoyed, or really upset. Just sad. I don’t know how we can reach people who think this way. It seems so obvious to me; compassion and helping those who need it most, whether they be a single mom working two jobs who just needs some help with childcare, or a refugee looking to escape unimaginable horrors, is a bedrock principle of this country. To allow that to be shattered by our fears would be a such a tragedy. It makes me sad for our country.
