Now matter how many times Donald Trump opens his mouth, he never gets any better at it. It's almost mesmerizing—he seems determined to prove to voters that his candidacy was always just a put-on, a satire-driven prank for the ages, but no matter what he says the audience just won't pick up on his hints. He seems desperate, at this point. Now he's outright telling people not to vote for him!
During a joyful, victorious rally speech in West Virginia on Thursday night, Trump told his crowd of 13,000 that they no longer had to vote in Tuesday's Republican primary — even though there are still a number of contested local races on the ballot. This came after Trump repeatedly told the crowd that he debated on whether to show up, as he no longer needed their votes in the primary. He said "just didn't have the heart" to stand them up.
That is the perfect satirical representation of Trumpism: Don't bother showing up to vote on things anymore, I've won and am done with you. That, coupled with musings to the crowd about how they very specifically don't matter to him at this point, but he'll still let them bask in his presence due to his own inescapable charity, is indistinguishable from any skit by any comedian about what a Donald Trump candidacy might look like.
"What I want you to do is save your vote — you know, you don't have to vote anymore. Save your vote for the general election, okay? Forget this one. The primary is gone," Trump said. "Save your vote for the general election in November, and we're going to show you something, and then you're going to show me something, okay?"
Aaaaand that got creepy very fast, did it not? Even when it comes from a slick man in a nice suit, we’re going to show each other our somethings is one of those ideas that will forever struggle to achieve political bumper sticker status.
So there you have it, America: Donald Trump is telling you not to vote for him anymore, because he's going to win and whatever else you do no longer matters. He wants you to save those votes up in your little vote shoebox until the day he summons you again. Then you’ll be able to vote twice, right? Because you saved one for later?
He's trying so hard to let America in on the joke, and America just isn't listening. I still blame Fox News. Once you've trained yourself to take Bill O'Reilly seriously, you'll believe any silly crap anyone throws at you.