One of the biggest rules in writing is simply this: Deliver on your promises.
If you open with a chapter that reads like Raymond Chandler, readers are going to be understandably upset if the remainder of the book comes off like Agatha Christie. If you march a character up into the Himalaya in the hopes of encountering mystical knowledge, it’s all right for them to fail, but that failure itself has to deliver knowledge of a different sort. You can take the readers along on any sort of trip you like, so long as you don’t waste their time or mislead them.
Yes, sure, Mr. Chekhov, I promise that I will use that gun I waved around in the first act. But it goes beyond that. When I use it, I promise you that it will mean something.
Of course, when you have a work as large and rich in both characters and settings as A Game of Thrones, not every item has significance. Not every beggar is bound to show up later on the Night’s Watch. Not every line is laden with double-meaning and portent. Not every roadside preacher we pass is going to play a key role (though, actually...). Sometimes a sword is just a sword.
On the other hand, sometimes that sword carries a famous name and is made out of super-duper metal by people long dead and the camera just can’t stop pointing at it. Viewers tend to take these things as hints that This Is Important. They start waiting for the shot.
Which is why this week’s Game of Thrones was a wee bit worrisome.
Earlier this season, we had an episode with a definite theme concerning the rising power and determination of the female characters. This week the theme centers around family, and in particular: fathers. Huh good God y'all, what are they good for?
What’s itchy about this week’s installment is not just that it sometimes seems to fail at delivering on promises built up over many episodes, it also seems to sometimes be more than a bit on-the-nose.
Horn Hill
I want to stop right here and say … holy cow, Tarly family. Them are some serious digs you got there. Horn Hill makes Winterfell look like, well, a freezing cold heap on the edge of the wilderness. Which it is. But still … wow. I kind of expected Horn Hill to be more like the castle from Beauty and the Beast crossed with a lot of Gaston’s “I use antlers in all my decorating” sensibility. Nice.
Once Sam, Gilly, and Sam 2.0 arrive, we get a scene that could have been lifted from a John Hughes film. Nerdy son of a jock father brings home girl from wrong side of the tracks. Hijinks ensue. Everything is pretty much as we were promised. Mom and sis are cool. Dad is a pompous ass. Little brother is a little bro.
What’s disturbing about the Horn Hill sequence is … well, everything really. First, there’s just how Game of Thrones it isn’t. From Gilly’s She’s All That makeover to the sequence in which gruff dad Randyll Tarly discovers Julia Roberts is Portugese that Gilly is actually a wildling, the whole thing has an amazingly modern sensibility.
Maybe we’re supposed to nod over how Some Things Never Change when it comes to brawny dads being disappointed about their brainy sons, but it’s too neat. Way too neat. If you can take every moment of a scene and imagine it happening in 1984 Grosse Pointe rather than whatever-year-it-is Westeros, you’ve wandered into the realm of bad genre picture. That’s a place that Game of Thrones rarely ventures, and it makes this sequence extremely jarring.
Halfway through the piece, tough dad points up his prize Ferrari family sword for the sole purpose of going on—at length—about how cool it is and how Sam will never have it. That leads up to the most puzzling part of the whole thing.
We’ve spent part of at least three episodes introducing the idea that Gilly and Sam Jr. need to go to Horn Hill because the Maesters down in Old Towne don’t allow women folk. And despite large scale scorn being thrown at Sam, it appears that he’s done exactly what he set out to do: Secure Gilly a safe space to ride out whatever happens next.
Only then Sam throws away that safe place to hustle Gilly and Sam II out of the very big, very secure castle and off to a place where he has no idea what to do with them. Then, just to double down on the “why did we even start down this path,” he makes off with the one prize family possession most guaranteed to get dad’s undies in a bunch.
We end this little domestic drama with Sam hauling his adopted family into a place where he knows they’re not welcome while carrying with him a sword that has both huge sentimental and real value, but which he can’t use worth a tinker’s dam. Even if this whole sequence turns off to be key to upcoming events (though it’s hard to understand how) it still comes off as awkward and contrived. Even as a contrast to ugly-dad Randyll, Sam doesn’t come off well here. He lets his own need for Gilly outweigh keeping his family safe. Bad dad. Both of you.
The Twins
Walder Frey! Hey, we haven’t had you around to hate in a long time. How you feeling Walder? Okay? That’s a shame.
Anyway, super-creepy father, grandfather, great-grandfather Walder seems pretty proud about what he pulled off back there at the Red Wedding, but he also appears to be the only even semi-competent person in House Frey. Despite saying that he was Lord of Riverrun back when he knocked off Rob and captured heir to the Riverlands, Edmure Tully, it now appears that Walder never actually shifted his bony behind from his seat at the Twins. Instead, his forces somehow managed to lose the nearly unassailable Riverrun to a rag-tag collection of Tully loyalists led by the Blackfish.
This whole sequence is just Walder yelling at his kids and making an occasional grab toward the latest way-too-young Lady Frey (how many of these have gone the way of My Last Duchess?). Still, there’s quite a bit of key information passed about in this exchange.
First off, we get confirmation that Brynden Tully, the “blackfish,” has in fact retaken his family home. Besides allowing us to cheer a loss for the Freys, this also matches the information that Littlefinger passed along to Sansa last week. So Littlefinger was telling the truth on at least this one point. That’s interesting. It also means that Brienne, whom Sansa dispatched to meet her uncle, is in fact heading toward an achievable goal and not just into some sort of trap by Littlefinger. That is, unless the Vale forces stashed in the Neck are going to try and stop Brienne. In which case, too bad for them.
The other name of note that comes up in Frey discussions is the Brotherhood without Banners. From this we can assume that red priest Thoros and much-resurrected Beric Dondarrion are still running around out there. And, with knowledge that I’m skating the edge of Book Knowledge here, it also implies that we might soon meet another character we haven’t seen in a long time.
In any case, though we seemed set on a Battle of Winterfell just a couple of weeks back, there’s a lot of people heading for Riverrun these days. So maybe that fight will cap the season.
King’s Landing
It’s been a couple of weeks since we put the Cersei Plan into effect. The very fact that it’s Cersei’s plan? That should tell you something about it’s chances. The idea that everyone has agreed to go along with Cersei’s plan? That tells you something about the available options and level of frustration.
The Tyrell army has finally arrived in King’s Landing, headed by dofus father, Mace Tyrell. After Mace gives a good example of why not everyone should try the inspirational speech thing, they head off to the Sept with Jaime in full Kingsguard armor at the head of the column and Queen of Thornes Olenna Tyrell being toted along, apparently to provide color commentary.
On the stairs of the Sept, the High Sparrow is giving what sounds much like the standard pre-atonement march speech, this time for Queen Margaery. Only Margaery has not been giving a pixie cut by way of ax, so it looks like she’s going to get relatively gentle treatment compared to Cersei.
Then the soldiers march in to interrupt the ceremony and Jaime delivers some darn cool spectacle by riding up a marble staircase while wearing armor. Jaime demands that Margaery and Loras be released in the name of Tommen. Which is a tad embarrassing … because the High Sparrow them produces Tommen as step one in Thomas à Becketing all over the Cersei Plan. Not only are we to be deprived of the pleasure of seeing the High Sparrow introduced to the Stanger, by the end of the sequence Jaime is sent off in semi-exile to lead the Tommen/Sparrow army against Riverrun.
Cersei and Jaime have a mini-incestathon before he departs while Cersei ensures her twin that this will only make them stronger, make revenge sweeter, etc. But Lady Olenna is closer to the truth when she says simply that the High Septon has beaten them.
Doofus dad Mace? More doofuser.
Secret incest dad Jaime? Pointless, as he always seems to be in King’s Landing.
But … here’s the thing. Has Tommen’s new father figure, the High Sparrow, really won?
It’s easy to believe that Tommen has pitched over into the true believer camp, because … Tommen. To this point, he seems to be the most suggestible character in Westeros, always agreeing with whoever he spoke to last. It’s a lot harder to believe Margaery’s sudden conversion to the faith, especially when we last saw her cradling near-broken Loras and doing lots of stiff-upper lipping. Yes, Margaery has always put up a good front toward the poor of King’s Landing, but neither she nor Olenna have done much to hide the fact that this was primarily to secure points with the populace (and not incidentally, to raise Margaery’s Q score well above that of Cersei).
I can completely believe that Margaery adopted the whole believer thing because it was the quickest way to spring both her and Loras from Sept-entiary. However, the fact that’s she’s pulled Tommen into the fold, and that they’re still holding onto their story long enough to kick Jaime out of town certainly indicates it’s more than just a jail break. The idea that Margaery is truly repentant seems about as likely as Cersei making a good decision. So what is really happening? We don’t know.
Anyway, Jaime is gone to join the scrum at Riverrun. Cersei is in a massive power suck. Uncle Kevan appears to have somehow evaded blame for the whole plot. And Olenna is mad. But keep an eye on Margaery. Hairshirts are really itchy, and I don’t expect her to wait too long before she flips this new arrangement to her advantage.
Oh, and that upcoming trial by arms, in which Cersei is counting on Franken-Mountain to save her… I wouldn’t bet on it. Jaime and Cersei’s we’ll get ‘em next time moment had all the marks of these two people are never going to see each other again.
Braavos
Surrogate father Jaqen H'ghar has assigned Arya a pretty simple task as far as assassinations go. Not only does the targeted actress seem to lack any self-defense skills, the theater that employs her is so porous that Arya can spend all the time she wants both backstage and in the audience without being stopped.
However, Arya continues to have a highly magnetized (if selective) moral compass which makes her the world’s worst assassin. After planting poison, Arya engages in a nice conversation with her intended target. The conversation not only reinforces the idea that the actress is a decent and thoughtful person, it has a bit of uncomfortably spot-on dialog about Arya pretending to be someone she’s not. Arya doesn’t stop with intentionally spoiling her own murder attempt, she points out the client she believes hired the Faceless Men to do the deed. In any assassin school, that has to be serious demerits.
Of course, Shona is watching from the wings and immediately reports Arya’s actions. Strict dad H'ghar immediately orders Arya’s end—all the while peeling a face from a corpse. Or at least, I hope it’s a corpse.
Arya retrieves Needle from where it was hidden a couple of seasons back, finds herself a nice dark place, and blows out the candle. Apparently Arya is figuring that her recent stint of blindness will give her an edge against Shona. She better hope so, because the evidence we’ve seen so far is that Shona can pretty much kick Arya’s ass on demand.
Maybe it’s just something about named swords, but this bit, along with Sam’s, are the ones that bother me most.
I’m not so much worried that Arya is about to die—though this is Game of Thrones, and it is entirely fueled by the outraged screams of fans, and we are working toward the end of the season. Sacrificing a Stark at this point is clearly in the range of things that could happen.
What worries me more is that Arya doesn’t die. Sure, watching her skewer Shona with Needle while screaming “A girl’s name is Arya Stark!” would be extremely satisfying. But only for about 10 seconds. In second No. 11, I’d start to think “Why did we do all this?” Why go to Braavos? Why study with the Faceless Men? Why go through the blindness and abuse?
What have we gotten from all this?
If Arya sails back to Westeros at this point, the whole going off to school to become a nameless assassin who can change her face on demand thing will seem like a very big fake out. Which has me pretty convinced that Arya isn’t done with the Faceless Men, though I can’t see how that can be true. If she kills Shona, does that earn her another chance, even though Jaqen H'ghar already told her she would not get another chance? Will Arya kill Shona, then pull out a knife and… ewww. Forget I thought of that.
It’s clear that Arya can be a killer—we’ve seen that. It’s also clear that Arya is never going to be an assassin who can kill someone without feeling like that person deserves it. Maybe that’s the real secret of the Faceless Men. They’re really not heartless killers who will kill anyone. They’re actually in the service of truth, light, and sugar donuts, but they want it to seem like they’re badass killers for … reasons.
I’m hopeful there’s a way out of this. But I can’t pretend I’m not worried.
Beyond the Wall
Meera Reed. Boy, you have to hand it to her. Killed a White walker, fought off a dozen wights, dragged Bran out of the burrows, and now she’s pulling his still white-eyed form through the snow. Meera—that’s Neckese for seriously tough woman. Still, it looks like Hodor’s final hodoring only bought Meera and Bran a short edge over the wight army, and as Bran finally wakes, it’s only to reveal that the jig is up. The bad guys have arrived.
Worn to a frazzle, Meera sobs out her apology that she couldn’t do even more, as the wights spill through the trees and prepare for a standard limb-from-limb rending.
But at the last moment a figure on horseback appears with a fiery … flail? No … mace? A fiery spinny thing with which he slays many wights before dragging both Bran and Meera onto his saddle and galloping away. Once at a safe distance, the three make camp and the mysterious rider is unmasked as Benjen Stark, last seen in season one. This is a record breaker for character who has been off screen the longest, and it seems unlikely that we’ll find a way to snap that record.
Benjen reveals that he’s had a run-in with the White Walkers and was on his way to wighthood when the Children of the Forest saved him by shoving an obsidian blade into his heart. Apparently this is the only trick in the Children of the Forest medicine cabinet. It makes you very leery of sneezing in their vicinity. “Is that a cold? Hey, come over here, this blade in the chest will make it better!”
All the time he’s been missing, Benjen has apparently been working as a gopher for the three-eyed raven, though exactly what he’s been doing isn’t clear. Now that Max von Sydow has departed along with the very special tree, and Hodor, and Summer, and apparently the last Children of the Forest, Benjen makes several remarks about Bran being the three-eyed raven now. He also says that Bran will stand against the Night’s King. Which … hmm, for a couple of reasons.
Bran is also still clearly time tripping, even though he has no more magic roots to grab. We see a stream of little flashbacks (and flash forwards?) before he wakes from his trance, one of which appears to be Mad King Aerys. Or is it? Yeah, it probably is. Undoubtedly, a lot of these other images have significance that we don’t yet recognize, but the simple fact that Bran is still tuning into the past means that we might still get those Tower of Joy answers without having to trek down to meet Howland Reed.
Just please don’t let all this lead to a scene where Bran time-wargs into someone in the past, sticks that person in a tree, and becomes his own sensei. I hate that story-in-a-bottle crap.
Fun fact: The “Max” in Max von Sydow is a nickname. His real first name is Adolph.
Sea of Grass
Dany and Daario walking through the grass sea, laughing back and forth at what the other hand to say, oodall …
Okay, I’m done now.
Daenerys Targaryen is leading her massive khaleesi-sar across a rather low on grass region, exchanging a few thoughts with Daario on basic logistics. Then we get a few little swirls of wind in the distance. Dany rides off and Daario is about to follow when Dany returns on the back of Drogon the Extremely Snippy.
Dany gives a Go Team Me speech that sounds a lot like all of her other Go Team Me speeches except for a couple of critical things. First, she’s on the back of a big honking dragon. Speeches are always more impressive from the back of a big honking dragon (are you taking notes, Hillary?). Second Dany’s speech is entirely about getting the whole mass of Dothraki onto ships and sailing over to Westeros so she can get that ugly chair back.
Not mentioned in her speech? Meereen. Or Astapor. Or Yunkai. Or any of those thousands of slaves she freed, before they were made into slaves again.
Are we going to bother to clean up any of the mess we’ve made back in Slaver’s Bay, or is Dany determined to just get on with the conquering—which really does seem to define her skill set—and leave it to Tyrion and Varys to try and hold the fort? Like Arya, she could set sail for King’s Landing next week, and there would be a certain satisfaction in seeing her go. What has Dany learned about governing? Well, mostly it seems to involve burning things and walking away from your problems.
As much as the whole “liberation of Slaver’s Bay” plotline has seemed to drag … wasn’t it there for a reason? If we’ve done nothing but stall until the dragons were grown, a lot of people have died for khaleesi. Grey Worm will not be happy.