Republican vice presidential nominee Mike Pence, who you'd already forgotten was the Republican vice presidential nominee until this story reminded you for the eleventh or so time just now, is a company man.
"All we get from Hillary Clinton and Tim Kaine are insults. But insults are not a plan," Pence said. "American people are responding to the positive agenda that Donald Trump has to make America great again."
Ahem.
Mike Pence says that the other side is too reliant on insults.
Also too, Mike Pence would like you to know that insults are not a plan.
Mike Pence believes Donald Trump, on the other hand, has been running on a "positive agenda."
Mike Pence seems to believe "make America great again" is, in fact, a plan.
Dr., Mr., and Mrs. Onion and all the good people of late night television, we present to you ... that which which is beyond satire. The unmockable. The horror that has lived in your dreams all these many years, now come to life and slithering, ever slithering toward your careers and breakfast tables. Donald Trump has chosen the form of your destructor, American satirist dogs, and it is ...
... Mike Pence, apparently. Yeah, we didn't see that one coming, either.