Trump transition team hack Anthony Scaramucci has one of the most glorious possible explanations for why Donald Trump keeps going back on his word about things like holding news conferences or disentangling himself from his business empire. Apparently, according to today's designated fountain o' bullshit, it's because we're still not getting Trump. Trump isn't a person. Trump is an idea. An enigma. Trump is a leaf on the fucking wind, and so forth.
“No, no, no, no, don’t take him literally, take him symbolically,” Anthony Scaramucci told MSNBC. “See, it’s different.”
Symbolically, he's a crooked bastard living off a crooked business empire who scams people for overpriced faux-universities and whose own charity exists primarily to buy portraits of himself for himself. Or maybe that's literally? It sure is confusing. But by all means, continue.
Scaramucci suggested that Trump has pushed back his news conference from Dec. 15 because “he’s a very precise, very detail-oriented guy” who wants to have “all of the answers to all of the types of questions that’s he’s gonna get thrown.”
That's what Team Trump is going with. That, of all possible notions. The idea that Donald Trump—a man whose entire presence and every statement is so freaking un-literal that it can only be taken symbolically at best, as perhaps a freaking metaphor for what an actual goddamn person might say in the same situation—is just so damn detail-oriented that he can't bear to have a press conference before he fully knows the nooks and crannies of the topic, How Donald Trump Will Be Ethical, that he will be holding forth on.
That Donald Trump.
The one who, after an entire presidential campaign, still has no apparent knowledge of what the nuclear triad is or what the Department of Energy does. A man who retweets fake charts made by white supremacists as evidence for his “policies.”
That guy is too precise. Too detail-oriented. And he rescheduled his press conference because, if anything, he just cares too much about the details.
That guy.
Right.