Donald Trump doesn’t just go on Twitter to get his unfiltered message out to America. After all, Twitter can be out for five minutes. But Fox News never pauses in their effort to not just spread the gospel of Trump, but help Glorious Leader when he hits tricky patches with language, or math, or logic. On Thursday, it was Lara Ingraham’s turn to prop Trump up for the evening, and their wide-ranging discussion covered immigrants (how to not have them), the State Department workers (how not to have them), and of course, Hillary (how would we live without her). And many, many things were said.
Trump on who’s really important around here:
INGRAHAM: And there—there's a concern that the State Department currently is undermining your agenda.
TRUMP: So we don't need all the people that they want. You know, don't forget, I'm a businessperson and I tell my people, "When you don't need to fill slots, don't fill them." But we have some people that I'm not happy with there.
INGRAHAM: But Assistant Secretary of State, you're not getting rid of that position.
TRUMP: All right. But let me tell you. The one that matters is me. I'm the only one that matters because, when it comes to it, that's what the policy is going to be.
Trump on “chain migration”:
TRUMP: Chain migration is a disaster for this country and it's horrible. I mean, just take a look at him. Twenty-three people—potentially, 23 people…
INGRAHAM: Is that verified?
TRUMP: It's what I heard, it's what I gave.
In other words … no.
Trump—make that Ingraham—on the bargain price of “the Wall”:
TRUMP: Well, it's one of the things. But we're gonna have a wall…
INGRAHAM: But— but Paul Ryan said… 1.4 billion, he would—he would start. Perhaps that number's been thrown out. But that's…
TRUMP: Phase one…
INGRAHAM: ... that's a pittance.
So $1.4 billion here, $1.4 billion there … you’re going to need a lot of $1.4 billions to make a 2,000 mile wall.
Trump’s ringing endorsement of Rex Tillerson:
TRUMP: Rex is in there working hard, he’s doing his best, he’s doing the best he can.
INGRAHAM: Is he going to be with you for the duration?
TRUMP: Well, we’ll see.
Trump’s ringing endorsement of Fox News:
TRUMP: So look, the news is fake. I must say, Fox has treated me fairly, not necessarily well, but they’ve treated me very fairly.
Yes. I think everyone is surprised that Fox hasn’t really been more favorable to Donald Trump.
Trump on whether or not the United States would protect Japan in case of a nuclear attack:
INGRAHAM: And they want a nuclear pledge from the United States if they go after Japan.
TRUMP: Well, you know Japan is a warrior nation. And I tell China and I tell everyone else that, listen, you’re going to have yourself a big problem with Japan pretty soon if you allow this to continue with North Korea.
That sounds like a no.
Trump’s second chance to say that the United States would protect Japan in the case of a nuclear attack:
INGRAHAM: Are we going to make any pledges to Japan to defend them in a nuclear capacity
TRUMP: Well, look, they’re an ally – they’re an ally. The Prime Minister is a very good friend of mine. Prime Minister Abe – I’ve become very close. I’ve become very, very, close to President Xi of China. I think a lot of good things are going to happen.
So … no then.
Trump on Dreamers:
INGRAHAM: Will it be part of a Dreamer deal, a DACA deal?
TRUMP: Yes. It'll be part of a DACA deal.
INGRAHAM: And if it...
TRUMP: DACA's a lot different than Dreamer.
INGRAHAM: That means for the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals?
And now we present, out of context theater:
INGRAHAM: Well, the Republicans didn't want to touch it for a long time. You've -- you've...
TRUMP: Well, they're touching it now...
INGRAHAM: ... held up a mirror to what the Republicans weren't doing, too.
TRUMP: ... you know? They're touching it now. It's become a very, very strong point right now.
Bonus: Lauran Ingraham demonstrates how to craft a question that praises Trump, pummels knowledge, and eliminates the need for rational thought.
INGRAHAM: Your State Department still has some unfilled positions. I know I mentioned this before on—on Fox. Your Asia desk is being run by a career diplomat. Not your person, not your vision. Are you worried that the State Department doesn't have enough Donald Trump nominees in there to push your vision through? Because other State Departments, including Reagan's, at this time, undermined his agenda.
TRUMP: Yeah.