Down in Alabama, 100 percent of precincts have counted their votes. The tally:
Doug Jones (D): 49.9
Roy Moore (R): 48.4
Write-in: 1.7
In other words, Roy Moore lost by 1.5 percent. For a Republican running statewide in Alabama, that’s an ass-kicking for the ages.
But while any reasonable person would simply concede, it’s not surprising that a guy who doesn’t believe in science would also struggle with math: Despite trailing by a margin of 20,715 votes, Moore wants a recount.
Hooo boy yeah that’s just not gonna happen. I mean, it literally could happen: According to Republican Secretary of State (and zealous vote-suppressor) John Merrill, Moore is free to request a recount no matter how much he trails by as long as he’s willing to pay. Of course, one of the many things Moore sucked at throughout his campaign was raising money. Can he really find enough willing dupes to finance some kind of WWII-Japanese-soldiers-not-surrendering-in-the-Filipine-jungle-for-decades kind of dead-ender gambit? Yeah, probably.
But we sure can laugh and enjoy the hell out of it!