Recently, scientists have been intentionally studying the impact of racism on one’s health. For many years, the health differences between whites and blacks in the United States were attributed to variations in DNA or genetic makeup. But some prominent researchers say that the experience of chronic and repeated stress over time creates a general health vulnerability (called weathering) that is experienced by people of color—and particularly by black Americans. Weathering leads to increased illness and death for blacks at rates higher than our white counterparts.
From this kind of research, we know that experiencing racism is detrimental to physical health. But when it comes to racism, the toll it takes on the body is not separate from emotional health. Racism most certainly impacts the mental well-being of people of color and there is often added stress when those people are parents. In a recent piece in The Root, Rochaun Meadows-Fernandez explores how black parents experience a particular type of anxiety as they worry about the safety of their children.
According to Dr. Erlanger Turner, a psychologist who specializes in race and mental health, the media’s portrayal of black youths’ deaths affects black parents.
“I think [media portrayal] can increase black parents’ concerns and anxiety about their children. Watching these images in the media can make parents not only worry, but may encourage them to limit the involvement of their children within society,” he says.
Unfortunately, the amount of time black parents must dedicate to educating their children about the world’s biases doesn’t just limit their children’s ability to explore the world around them; it also has a significant impact on parents’ mental health.
It is one thing to walk in the world knowing that systemic, organizational, and interpersonal racism exist. It is an added burden to know it and have to educate your child on it in order to keep them safe. This includes having to negotiate when you will have the famous “talk” with your black children—the one where you have to explain that, no matter how good they are or how kind their hearts, the world will respond to them in a particular way based on their skin color.
The Portland Press Herald spells out just what “the talk” means to many black families.
For many black families, staving off the potential threat of police confrontation means sharing a litany of skills and behaviors that have been tested by experience, the Rev. [Kenneth Lewis, pastor of Green Memorial AME Zion Church in Portland] said.
“We were taught to respect police officers, but also not to be disrespected,” Lewis said. “It happens when you’re about 12 or 13. You’re told to be polite and keep your hands visible. Even if you’re being disrespected or offended, don’t respond. Keep calm and just say, ‘Yes, sir, No, sir.’ ”
Some families have been having the conversation for decades. For many parents, it’s based on personal experiences with police authority. Often fathers or other male elders share the information with sons, in part because black men are more often perceived as threatening and targeted as a result, Lewis said.
Rest assured, this talk is not just being had with black sons. It is a talk being had with black daughters as well—especially after the deaths of Sandra Bland, Charleena Lyles, and Korryn Gaines, to name a few of the unarmed black women who have been killed by police or who have died in police custody. While black parents previously considered having these conversations with their children in their adolescence, they are starting earlier and earlier out of fear that their children will be caught unaware and be harmed.
As The Root explains:
Alex White is already planning for “the talk” with her young son, A.J., but he’s only 8 years old, and she’s unsure what to say.
“What worries me the most when A.J. leaves the house is that I feel he’s never fully prepared for the world. They say have ‘the talk,’ but what does the talk include? Black males [and females] are a target for all types of discrimination, injustice and negativity. I never know if I’ve covered enough to prepare him for the world,” White says.
“As the mother of three black boys, I’m just worried that I’ll teach them the best I can and it won’t be enough. That some unthought-of scenario catches them off guard, and their last thought will be, ‘Mama didn’t prepare me for that,’” she says.
It’s imperative to understand that this kind of stress on black parents comes with consequences that are likely to impact mental and physical health outcomes. In thinking about how we support parents in our society at large, we also need to consider what additional resources black parents may need. We must also take into account how their anxiety and credibly founded fears about racism may also be damaging to their children.
“There is a strong connection between stress, physical and mental health. A recent report [pdf] from the American Psychological Association notes that stress due to social injustice can impact the way people think and increases their perceptions of threat. Stress due to concerns about a child’s safety causes hormone changes in the body that can lead to physical and health issues,” he says.
We can’t discuss the effects of hypervigilant parenting without considering how it affects our children. It is likely that dealing with parents who aren’t effectively handing the anxiety about their children’s safety affects the mental health of their children.
Racism is an inescapable reality in our country that results in a vicious cycle for black people. Not only do we have to remain consistently vigilant about its presence for our own livelihoods and physical safety, we also have to worry about its impact on our physical and mental health. Add to this the stress of raising children coupled with the constant concerns for children who are black, and it can feel like a never-ending battle.
But there are ways for black parents to cope and take care of themselves. As Audre Lorde once said, self-care is self-preservation and an act of political warfare. But it also makes for better black parents. As quoted by The Root, Dr. Erlanger Turner says:
“I think it is necessary to practice self-care during tough times or when dealing with extreme stress. Sometimes it may be hard to avoid difficult situations, but you can make an effort to give yourself time away from thinking about the situation.”
For more resources, check out a list of podcasts for parents of color here.