Fox News Tears Into...Trump?
Everything they throw at Joe Biden can be thrown back in their cult leader’s face with ten times the volume and velocity. Great fun. Via The Daily Show:
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But nice smirk, Laura.
Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, August 12, 2020
Note: Today is National Middle Child Day. Everybody say the official motto with me: "Oh, Marcia Marcia Marcia!!!"
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til Labor Day: 26
Number of pieces of mail that were ordered to be held back Monday alone in southern Maine, according to the Postal Workers Union: 80,000
Percent of Americans polled by Pew Religion who believe that churches should have to follow the same social-distancing guidelines as everyone else: 79%
Number of Michiganders who participated in their primary elections last week, a record turnout for an August primary (79% higher than 2016's): 2.5 million
Amount by which the "bounce rate" (people who abandon a page immediately after loading it) dropped when the new Daily Kos home page went up, according to Markos: 10%
Increase in the average reader's time spent at Daily Kos since the new homepage went up: 9.4%
Plunge in Kodak's stock Monday after the shady deal to turn it into a drug company was put on hold: 30%
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Mid-week Rapture Index: 182 (including 3 tribulation temples and another instance of Jesus thinning his herd). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Feelin' the burn, pandemic edition…
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CHEERS to convention fever. "Balloons! Balloons! Balloons! I want more balloons! Where the f*ck are the balloons?!! Confetti! Confetti! Where's the confetti? What the hell are you people doing up there?!!" Ah, memories of the 2004 DNC convention balloon fail. Good times. Not that we have to worry about that this year, with most folks locked away at home for the 2020 Democratic convention, when Joe Biden will accept the nomination for president along with running mate—did you hear?—Kamala Harris!!! Hot off the press, via Vox here are some of the folks who'll have a thing or two to say next week:
[T]he convention will be condensed into two hours of televised speeches spread out from Monday, August 17, to Thursday, August 20. Former Vice President Joe Biden is set to accept his party’s nomination on Thursday night from his home in Delaware, rather than the original planned location of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
Starting at 9 pm Eastern each night, the Democratic convention will be broadcast on all major television networks, social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, and YouTube, and streaming services like Apple TV, Roku [and] the DNC’s website.
Monday Michelle, Bernie, Gretchen, Clyburn, Amy, Cortez Masto
Tuesday Jill, #42, Kerry, AOC, Schumer, Sally (Yates),
Wednesday #44, Kamala, Nancy, Hillary, Liz, Gabby
Thursday Cory, Kamala, Gavin, Keisha, Pete, Tammy, and #46 & family
There will be some surprises along the way, but one thing we know for sure: it's such a high-quality lineup that Melania is gonna go crazy trying to figure out who to plagiarize.
CHEERS to previews of coming robed attractions. The star chamber known as the Federalist Society has had its four-year chance to install their "strict constructionist" judges—including two SCOTUS pals—across the country. And come January it'll be the left's turn, and you can bet your sweet p'tootie we're not going to see a repeat of the pokey, ploddy, respect-the-Blue-Slip Harry Reid years. We're steppin' on the gas and, frankly, we don’t care how many Republicans we run over in the process:
[T]he work is about more than just identifying qualified individuals. In many ways, that’s the easy part. The difficult work comes in making sure that a Biden administration―and, potentially, a Democratic Senate―understands the importance of a diverse pool of judicial nominees.[…]
Progressive groups aren’t just focused on who they want on the courts. They’re also pushing Biden to get moving immediately. That’s at least partly driven by frustration that Trump and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) have made the courts a top priority over the last four years. … [F]or all the praise Obama has gotten for diversifying the courts, he was slow to get moving on judicial nominations when he took office.
Some groups say they already see signs that Biden understands the need for more diversity and expediency in judicial nominations. He has pledged to put the first Black woman on the Supreme Court, for example.
If there's such a thing as karma, Michelle Obama will replace Clarence Thomas. A boy can dream.
CHEERS to compassionate conservatism. 65 years ago today, on August 12, 1955, Republican President Dwight Eisenhower raised the hourly minimum wage from 75¢ to a dollar. Or, as the acting White House budget director calls it: "a dollar too much, General Libtard."
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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JEERS to face shields and hazmat suits at dawn. Hoooo-wee. I don’t know who'll draw the short straw for this wretched job, but all I can say is, thoughts and prayers:
President Donald Trump was given a series of deadlines to produce his DNA and other evidence as part of mandatory discovery in an ongoing defamation lawsuit on Monday.
E. Jean Carroll…accused the 45th president of raping her sometime in late 1995 or early 1996. She initially made that accusation—one of over 20 sexual assault allegations against Trump—during the summer of 2019. […]
“[Trump’s] deadline to respond to [Carroll’s] Second Set of Document Requests (originally January 30, 2020) is now August 14, 2020, and the date set by [Carroll’s] First Notice to Submit to Physical Examination (originally March 2, 2020) is now September 15, 2020,” [attorney Roberta] Kaplan wrote on Monday. “We can be flexible with respect to the location and method for obtaining [Trump’s] DNA sample in order to accommodate security needs or other issues. Please let us know if you would like to discuss.”
They're gonna need longer tongs.
CHEERS to great moments in inventin' stuff. Wipe that doughnut powder off your face and sit up straight, this is important. This week marks the 107th anniversary of the invention of stainless steel. It was created by metallurgist Harry Brearley, who had the good sense to "add chromium to molten iron [that] produced a metal that didn’t rust." Today stainless steel is a ubiquitous part of life on earth. But to survive the slings and arrows of modern-day politics, only Teflon will do.
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Ten years ago in C&J: August 12, 2010
CHEERS to simple solutions to pesky problems. Tell me you can't relate to this decision by John Cole at Balloon Juice:
I’m sorry, but I opened my gmail and there were 5400 messages and I got chest pains so I just deleted everything.
In the distance, a thousand Nigerian finance minister widows and their bank accounts cried out in pain.
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And just one more...
JEERS to butter cow denied. Normally this would be the week that the skies over Iowa would clear, the fried-food vats would start bubbling, and the politicians would be honing their mingling and bloviating skills in anticipation of the start of the Iowa State Fair. Over a million people normally attend, but the Trump pandemic put a stop to that this year. (They're planning to go full-tilt next year.) But here at C&J, we just couldn’t let the week pass without a good old-fashioned tribute to the political rite of passage that's a hallmark of the fair: the awkward eating of corn dogs. For old time's sake, enjoy these golden memories of 2012, with bonus ice cream cone:
Our thoughts and prayers to all the fairgoers who were looking forward to the best part of the politician face-stuffing ritual: shutting them up for a few minutes.
And quick programming note: due to the Netroots Nation convention there will be no regular C&J on Friday but we will post a "who won the week" poll at our usual evening time. Have a happy humpday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
'Ain't the Smartest Tool in the Shed': Smash Mouth Singer Mocked for Yelling 'F*ck Cheers and Jeers!' in Packed Kiddie Pool
—Mediaite
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