There is no point in feigning seriousness over this story: It is self-parodying to begin with. The Daily Beast has uncovered a true member of the deep state, a government operative who moonlights in his off hours as an internet troll dreaming of, er, the violent but justified overthrow of the gubbermint for which he works. Yeah, it's a conservative. Yeah, it's a conservative blogger. Yeah, he's been deep into the conspiracy-nut weeds, a la Michael Caputo, with the idle suggestions that maybe it's going to soon be time to start killing liberals but without the self-reflection that allowed Caputo to acknowledge that maybe his mental faculties were no longer fully facultied if he was thinking such things.
Meet William B. Crews, a public relations mandude at the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID), one of those science-riddled government organizations that conservatives despise for having so many damn ideas about things. Crews works for Dr. Anthony Fauci, currently the conservative posterchild for power-mad thing-knowing on account of his various suggestions on ways we could make Americans, you know, not die so much. And when Crews is not doing that, he's launching furious tirades about "mask nazi" Fauci on the decidedly mid-tiered conservative not-that-crazy "RedState" blog, where he suggests that scientists warning of the "Wuhan virus scare" were engaged in a "massive fraud" to Destroy Our Wayz Of Life.
If there were "justice," says Crews in his RedState persona, we would be sending a "few dozen" of these scientists "to the gallows and gibbet their tarred bodies in chains until they fell apart."
Crews seems especially vexed about advice to wear masks—literally the least invasive possible means of ending the entire damn pandemic whenever the hell we wanted to, but in the pro-Trumper mind, a "Gestapo" move by the mask Nazis that is only one step removed from sending his burping patriot allies to "the boxcar." Jeebus Emphysema McRib, we can only thank heaven above that Trump’s roving worshippers haven't begun to have similar deep convictions about wearing pants.
Upon Mr. Crews’ outing at the hands of cruel and uncaring journalists, the NIAID told the Beast that Crews had decided to "retire" from his government job, presumably to avoid having to repeatedly explain at the office water cooler and in the elevators which of his agency colleagues Crews believes ought to be "gibbetted" and for what precise reasons. Or maybe Crews simply feared that he was about to have his body donated to science against his will. It is impossible to say, so we may speculate wildly.
The Daily Beast also notes, however, that the "vast majority" of Crews' posts for RedState were published "during the work week, often during normal business hours," which suggests that Crews might have been writing about the need to execute scientists over their pandemic advice while huddled in his government office, banging merrily away at an government computer, collecting government paychecks. Oh, and that Crews secretly passed internal National Institutes of Health (NIH) "information" to his fellow bloggers, which is in any other context only something that filthy anti-Trump traitors would do, et cetera, and so forth.
That, too, would explain why Crews decided to very bravely run from the job rather than face questions from Ye Gibbet-Happy Human Resources Department.
As punishment for his various actions, we sentence Mr. Crews to absolutely no consequences whatsoever. There is literally nothing anyone could do that could humiliate Crews more than being exposed as the crackpot who wrote the things he wrote, or anything more embarrassing than losing your posh government job for the sake of complaining on RedState.
He will likely go on to be interviewed by Fox News, which will put up chyrons decrying "cancel culture" for the cruelty of Crews having to flee his job before his superiors could investigate whether he was using government computers to call for the execution of his fellow workers, and ... God knows. It's sure to be proof positive that the deep state is powerful, all-knowing, and absolutely bent on humiliating C-grade crackpots whose contempt for booklearning is so consuming that they want to see heads in nooses and bodies rotting in the public square, rather than daring to suggest that people cover their face-holes during a worldwide deadly pandemic LiKE CoMmUNisTs WoULd.
Jeebus McClowncar, these people. Put a tax-dodging rapist scumbag reality show carnival barker on the political stage and they'll scoop out their own brains and pour syrup into their skulls in fevered admiration.
It's a pandemic. It's a virus. It has no brain; it doesn't give a flying damn whether Donald Trump is in office or if we've nominated Shoo-Bob the Talking Shoe to be our national leader. Not every event here on planet Earth has popped into existence only as secret worldwide conspiracy by lobster-clawed anarchists to damage Dear Leader's Unassailable Bone-Spurred Brilliance.
If science tells you to wear a mask, don't drink bleach, and maybe don't drill three holes in your head and call yourself a bowling ball, you don't have to immediately do the opposite just to prove the eggheads wrong. Looking at you, here, William.