Energize An Ally Tuesday
Oh, hey, looky here. Fresh polling has Democrat Jaime Harrison up by a couple of points over Lindsey Graham in the U.S. Senate race in South Carolina. I honestly thought I'd see pigs fly before I'd ever see Graham in danger down there. But this poll reflects recent polling showing Harrison dead-even with Graham, so this morning I'm tossing a few bucks Jaime's way to tip the scales. (I'm told I have that kind of power.)
Everyone here has their preference of which Republican senator they'd most like to see get the boot this year, and Graham tops my list. (Sorry, Susan Collins, but trust me you’re a very close second.)
Continued...
Apart from having blood on his hands for helping lie us into the Iraq War and trying to restore penalties for pre-existing conditions with his bullshit "Graham-Cassidy Amendment," he is simply one of the most bitter, petulant, pouty, sour, nasty, sneering, snotty, vicious, spittle-flingy, whiny rubes who ever set foot in the upper chamber. A petty little snowflake so craven he regularly stomps on the legacy of his best friend John McCain to increase his chances of getting invited to play golf with the worst U.S. president in history, of whom he once said: "If you want to make America great again, tell Donald Trump to go to hell."
Lindsey became a senator the year I became a blogger, and it's time for one of us to go. I'm happy to see that South Carolina appears to agree that Lindsey deserves the heave-ho, and they couldn't have a better replacement at their voting fingertips than Democrat Jaime Harrison.
So if you're willing and able, I invite you to join me in bolstering his war chest so he can dispose of the human meat cleaver.
Follow Jaime on Twitter here and the evil Facebook here. Oh, and the deadline to register to vote in South Carolina is this Friday.
And now our feature presentation...
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Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, September 29, 2020
Note: Due to popular demand, all of the C&J toilets and urinals will continue to be named after confederate generals. Men, try the new J.E.B. Stuart we just installed. And ladies, you'll love the new Stonewall Jackson. Try it today and flush away, flush away, flush away Dixie Land. —Mgt.
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By the Numbers:
Weeks 'til voting in the 2020 election ends: 5
Unemployment claims last week, way the hell up from the week before: 1.5 million
Percent of Americans who lost their job because of the pandemic and still don’t have one, according to Pew Research: 50%
Likely voters polled by The New York Times/Siena College who oppose the Supreme Court's ruling in Roe v. Wade: 20%
Likely voters in the same poll who support statehood for the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico: 59%
Increase in orders to U.S. factories for durable goods in July and August respectively, according to the Commerce Dept.: 11.7%, 0.4%
Number of years Maine has hauled in at least 100-million pounds of lobster per year, including 2020 despite the pandemic: 9
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Puppy Pic of the Day: In Shrub Oak, New York, an end-of-year POOL PARTY!!!
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CHEERS to the rumble in the Buckeye State Jungle. Moderator Chris Wallace thinks he has an agenda all laid out for getting the candidates to weigh in on the issues tonight during 2020 presidential debate #1. But that'll be difficult considering one of the candidates (take a wild guess which one) will only be there to hurl insults, lie, interrupt, and generally make an ass of himself. The verbal fisticuffs starts at 9ET at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland. As always, the nimble-fingered Daily Kos front-pagers will live-blog from their moms' basements—Ha Ha Ha, that joke never gets old! Basically, if Joe wants to win the debate, he needs to show a command of the issues and a willingness to throw a punch at the opportune moment. If Trump wants to win the debate, he needs Joe to get vaporized by a meteor.
P.S. The “election whisperer” weighs in on tonight’s tussle:
Another weapon Joe should brandish, in my opinion as a long-term campaign strategist: glitter cannon.
CHEERS to helping hands. President Trump has been so gosh-darn busy working his mighty fingers ("the mightiest fingers, believe me") to the bone running the country that he hasn't had time to release his tax returns. So a BIG gold star to whoever came to his rescue and released them for him, thus relieving him of that enormous burden that's been eating him up inside for all these years. I have no idea how to read these things, so I'll turn it over to the media to deliver the good news on what a fine, upstanding taxpayer and businessman our president is. I think this may be the game-changer he needs to finally overtake Joe Biden, secure his second term, and make America great again. Let's dig in!
The New York Times obtained two decades of President Donald Trump's tax information, reporting Sunday that the president paid only $750 in federal income taxes the year he won the presidency and again during his first year in office.
The Times, which said it plans to publish additional stories based on the documents, reported that Trump has not paid any income taxes in 10 of the past 15 years, mostly because he reported significant losses. It reported that Trump is facing a decade-long Internal Revenue Service audit over a $72.9 million tax refund he received that could end up costing him more than $100 million.
The Times also reported that Trump has more than $300 million in loans coming due within the next few years that he is personally responsible for repaying.
And in other news, today the president's campaign plans to release their new slogan for the remainder of the election cycle: TRUMP 2020: STOP READING STUFF ABOUT ME.
CHEERS to worldly wisdom. The people of planet earth have spoken. When the space aliens arrive and ask to be taken to our leader, there's no question who they'll point to:
Former President Obama and former first lady Michelle Obama now hold the top spots for most admired man and woman in the world in the British data firm YouGov’s annual poll.
Barack Obama ousted Microsoft co-founder and philanthropist Bill Gates from the most admired title for the first time since YouGov started conducting the survey in2014. […] Michelle Obama is ranked number one for women for the second year in a row. Angelina Jolie, who previously held the top spot, was ranked second in Tuesday’s survey, followed by Queen Elizabeth II.
According to YouGov, the 2020 study was the largest conducted thus far, with more than 45,000 people in 42 countries and territories surveyed.
Also notable: Trump stumbled and fell to 15th place, upon which he immediately took to Twitter and blamed it on a ramp.
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BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
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CHEERS to Maine-mentum. I haven't written much about our upcoming elections here in Maine, mostly—or should I say, "Mainely"? Ha Ha Ha!—because it's been pretty quiet, actually. The pandemic limits campaigning. The ads running on TV are so milquetoasty that only their endless repetition gives 'em any stickiness. And, as with the rest of the country, there's a weariness in the air—we just want to get this damn thing over with already. But, for the sake of the time capsule, here's where things stand in Vacationland 35 days out:
Congressional Races Both of our incumbent Democrats—Chellie Pingree in the dark blue southern 1st district and Jared Golden in the light-red 2nddistrict—are popular enough that they're on track to win reelection without much fuss. Golden can be a little blue-doggy, but his status as an Iraq War veteran and his "aw shucks" personality make him well-liked up here.
Senate Race The momentum is all swinging in the direction of Democrat Sara Gideon, who leads incumbent and Trump psychophant Susan Collins, numbers-wise. Gideon enjoys a 4-5 point polling advantage, plenty of money in the bank, a state in a major anti-Republican mood, ranked-choice voting that will likely benefit her if neither she nor Collins hits 50 percent, and endorsements from scores of organizations who once supported Collins. Charlie Cook still rates this race a toss-up. But as a pair of boots on the ground up here, I'm having a hard time seeing this as anything but Lean-D.
As for how I plan to vote when my absentee ballot arrives next week, all I can say is this: no wads of cash have shown up in a plain envelope and stuck under my windshield wiper yet. So I remain undecided.
CHEERS to the beginning of the end. 239 years ago this week, during the War of Independence, American troops backed by the French fleet Ronald Reagan riding a trained dolphin while brandishing a bazooka [Revision courtesy of TX Dept. of Education textbook approval committee], began their siege of Yorktown, Virginia. The British, trapped like rats in their stupid bright red uniforms, were forced to surrender, thus securing our freedom as an independent nation. Moral of the story: only fools go to war on a peninsula without jetpacks.
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Ten years ago in C&J: September 29, 2010
CHEERS to agreeing to...agree??? Coinciding with the news that the yawning chasm between the rich and the poor is chasming even yawnier comes this tidbit that suggests virtually everyone is unhappy with that fact:
According to research carried out by Michael I. Norton of Harvard Business School and Dan Ariely of Duke University, and flagged by Paul Kedrosky at the Infectious Greed blog, 92 percent of Americans would choose to live in a society with far less income disparity than the US, choosing Sweden’s model over that of the US.
What’s more, the study’s authors say that this applies to people of all income levels and all political leanings: The poor and the rich, Democrats and Republicans are all equally likely to choose the Swedish model.
With one small caveat: we want Yosemite Sam mud flaps on our Volvos, please. And also free Volvos.
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And just one more…
JEERS to the attack of the million-email army. Gird your loins—the political fundraising operations will be cranked up to “11” today and tomorrow. Yes, these are the last days of the quarter and political candidates from every nook and cranny of the nookandcrannysphere are going to be turning you upside down and shaking you until some change eventually falls out of your pockets. You will get a torrent of email appeals, each with an increasingly-urgent subject line. As a public service, C&J offers you a preview of what you can expect if you don’t have your spam filter set to "nukular":
Hey! Only 48 hours left to hit our goal!
Hey! Only 24 hours left to hit our goal!
Oh no! Only 18 hours left to hit our goal!
Help! Only minutes left to hit our goal!
We're down to seconds now!
My campaign manager is having chest pains. Give now!
Now I'm having chest pains! Fork it over!
If I lose this race it's your fault for not giving!
Puddle of tears! It's all over!
I will club a baby seal if you don’t give NOW, you stingy bastard! WE HATE YOU!!!
Sorry about that last subject line. But dammit, we need your donation or we’re going to have to sell the campaign Volvo!
Bags packed. Headed for ice floe. All is lost.
We can’t feel our toes. Polar bear ate ‘em.
Followed by Thursday's headline: WE DID IT! THANK YOU! WE'RE GONNA WIN THIS THING! (Yeah, I'll cry—I love happy endings.)
Have a tolerable Tuesday. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial
Judge, Fox Lawyers Agree: No 'Reasonable Person' Would Believe Bill in Portland Maine
—Wonkette
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