Bush to Invade Mars
(AP)President Bush today set forth the most compelling case yet for an invasion of the Red Planet in his State of the Union Address.
"We cannot stand idly by while Martians continue to destroy our peaceful probes and threaten the peace of the asteroid belt," the president said today amidst doubts by some that Martians even exist.
"We cannot wait for evidence of Martian existence to arrive in the form of a death ray from orbit. We must act now," Cheney added, in a rare interview on Meet the Press.
The anti-war movement has been thrown into disarray by the stunning, some might say "surreal", new direction that the War on Terror has taken. One protestor outside the UN building said, "I'm against Bush and the war and stuff, but Mars? Are there even any people there?" Behind him, protestors were scrambling to find something to replace "Oil" on the "No War for Oil" signs. "How do you spell 'ferrous'?" one befuddled protestor asked.