This is a transcript of a conversation between RNC chairman Ed Gillespie and Assistant to the President and Senior Advisor to the President Karl Rove that may have taken place a week-and-a-half ago:
Ed Gillespie - You rang, Karl?
Karl Rove - The wire attached to POTUS is experiencing technical difficulties, so, yes, I called you.
Ed Gillespie - Let me guess. You have something up your sleeves and I doubt that it's a rabbit.
Karl Rove - You are correct, sir, that it's not a rabbit.
Ed Gillespie - Good. We need something. The debate thing kind of backfired on us. We never should have agreed to it.
Karl Rove - That's what I personally promoted. But Dick and Donald overruled me. At least we reined in the majority of the pundits. Convinced them to keep their opinions to themselves in the important post-debate pre-opinion-poll period. Most people that didn't bother to watch the debates probably think they were all draws.
Ed Gillespie - True. The substance-as-opposed-to-style argument worked, as well.
Karl Rove - Keep this in your hat but I fear that our boy will do about the same in the last debate. Words are not his strong suit. But there's something that Edwards said in the Vice Presidential debate that I think we can exploit. Heaven help Kerry if he tries the same tactic. Americans believe overwhelmingly that it is wrong to attack the other candidate's family. They won't know what hit them.
Ed Gillespie - Sounds great. Sounds like vintage Rove stuff to me. Is that all you've got cooked up?
Karl Rove - No. There's something else. I happened to catch that silly "Day After Tomorrow" movie last night.
Ed Gillespie - I can't believe Roger Ailes pulled that sh-t on us.
Karl Rove - Surprising. But it does prove that Fox really is "fair and balanced."
Ed Gillespie - I wouldn't call that movie either of those things.
Karl Rove - Did you see it?
Ed Gillespie - No. But I don't have to. I've heard all I need to know about it. I'm sick of those perverted Hollywood fs and the way they force their degenerate poison down everyone's throat.
Karl Rove - Well, I'm happy to announce that I may have developed a highly effective counterattack. A way to stop all the non-stop nonsense. A way for us to stop it but by keeping our hands clean.
Ed Gillespie - I'm in suspense. And not because of global warming.
Karl Rove - Good one. To make my plan work we need to find a film of our own. A film that tells our side of the story. But it needs to be a film that attacks Kerry without overtly supporting Bush.
Ed Gillespie - Sean Hannity just sent me a tape of a documentary called "Stolen Honor: Wounds That Never Heal." Real powerful stuff. Real former-p.o.w.s that tell the truth about how Kerry sold them out to the Communists and left them in grave danger.
Karl Rove - Good. Good. That might do the job.
Ed Gillespie - I'm dying, Karl. Tell me more.
Karl Rove - I was just speaking to our friends at the Sinclair Broadcasting Group. Remember how they worked with us to blackout that Nightline special presentation?
Ed Gillespie - Do I ever.
Karl Rove - Well, my plan is to get Sinclair to announce that they will be forcing their networks to run this documentary just a few weeks before the election.
Ed Gillespie - Why announce it? Won't that give the Democrats a chance to stop it?
Karl Rove - That's the point. We want them to try to stop it.
Ed Gillespie - I'm not following you.
Karl Rove - Look, Ed. These looney libs are gonna lose their fing minds when they hear about this. Because it's going to be airing so close to the election, I expect that they'll make a lot of big waves, which will help promote it. Some of them will cry for equal time. Sinclair will offer time on the program for John Kerry to respond which he's sure to refuse.
Ed Gillespie - Sounds devious.
Karl Rove - These mutherfers have been killing us. Michael Moore is bad enough. But now every Tom, Dick and $%&*@erloving Harry with a camcorder has been getting in on the act.
Ed Gillespie - But how will this stop that from happening.
Karl Rove - They will stop themselves. Minutes after the news account, I expect that there will be websites and blogs devoted to boycotts against Sinclair.
Ed Gillespie - That's what we would do.
Karl Rove - They'll raise such a fuss that - you mark my words - no television station, cable station or movie theater will ever try to pollute the airwaves with this partisan drivel ever again.
Ed Gillespie - Now I get it. Boycotts against advertisers will result in a freeze-out. Then nobody'll be able to watch their propaganda and lies.
Karl Rove - Trust me. It'll work like a charm. They'll never be able to condemn us as the book-burning party ever again. Fing fools.
Continued at: My Blog