Trying to be a good activist can be hard work, but occassionally, I cannot suppress the urge to break into near hysterical laughter. (Note to self: Maybe I ought to see somebody about this, especially if symptoms persist beyond November 3.) One of these moments occurred when I spotted the BushCo fundraising letter in my webmail inbox this morning.
The subject listed? Stand With Us to Victory
I blinked a couple of times. My head began to hurt trying to attach the verb "Stand" (motionless?) and the prepositional phrase "to Victory". My internal non sequitur alert klaxon sounded two short bursts, so I figured, what the heck, let's take a deeper look.
Damned if the first sentence in the funder letter (after "Dear Bruce") was this:
My opponent continues his pattern of confusing contradictions.
My inner Ted Logan let loose a long "Whoa!", and I immediately suspected that there might be a staffing problem at Bush/Cheney04. Dubya, having nothing better to do, may have decided that he'd try to write a letter himself.
I'm still trying to wrap my head around the contradiction in the letter title: STAND (still?) + TO VICTORY (implies motion?), and they pop the first word that came to my head in the opening sentence. Either the writer is very, very good (Eric Lassard), or very, very dumb (ditto).
It does appear to be the latter, as the read continues, by the way. Misplaced punctuation abounds. The kind of grammar and usage that would have sent my 7th grade spinster English teacher off the deep end.
Sentence #3: But asked, does that mean our troops are dying for a mistake?
Sentence #4: He said, no.
Alas, the letter failed to entertain as I continued reading, containing only the typical platitudes that are peppered in his stump speech.