Smart negotiators are masterful at controlling the agenda when they sense a conflict in the needs of two parties. Democrats lose these arguments because we unwittingly engage with conservatives on issues they prioritize, like gay marriage and abortion.
Gay marriage and abortion are not our issues. Issues are agenda items that represent problems. Within our own ranks, these social issues do not represent problems for us as most liberals already believe gay people are entitled to equal rights and that women's reproductive rights are sacred. These are only issues for conservatives as the right wing of the Republican party continues its attempts to erode civil liberties and religious freedoms in this country.
I say it's time to to fight back. We need to take control of the public agenda and to set conservatives up to lose by making them talk about our issues - freedom from oppressive governments and social and economic justice. Republican policies naturally undermine these fundamental American values, so this should be fairly easy to do.
Mission: Communication with a "moral values" voter
Objective: Regain control of the agenda
As progressive democrats, we must first realize that our agenda is not abortion and it is not "choice." Choices are important, but they are not essential to life. Life is essential to life. In the game of overly simplistic arguments, "life" will beat "choice" every time like rock beats scissors. We need to remind ourselves again that choice and abortion are Republican-defined agenda items brought up to get us to react as though we are wrong and need to defend ourselves. We should not discuss abortion or choice with neo-conservatives.
The progressive liberal democrats' agenda is freedom and justice. ALL other political issues evolve from these "fundamental" American values. All the red-state voters get these super-man pledge of allegiance values (except perhaps the very very rich, who don't need to care about them). We should only discuss these issues if confronted with abortion, gay marriage, or stem-cell research. Here's an example of how the new argument might sound:
Abortion is murder! God says we will go to hell if we allow abortions to go on!
Living under an oppressive government is hell. Americans have died fighting for our freedoms. Americans are now dying in Iraq for their belief in American freedom. We are all guaranteed religious freedom in America.
Homosexuality is an abomination!
Stem-cell research is against the will of God. We must ban it!
This is America, and persecution of people with different religious beliefs is Un-American! Are you saying freedom is bad? Are you saying that it's okay to oppress people for their religious beliefs? Why do you hate freedom?
The agenda is now turned away from abortion, gay rights and stem-cell research and focused on freedom and oppression. Republicans will not discuss freedom, oppression and the issue of civil rights because these are Democratic issues. Republican polices are themselves oppressive as they restrict basic freedoms while undermining economic and social justice. We must raise the flag here and call them out.
Mission: Relocate the wedge to the right of the moderates.
Objective: Talk about "Abortion" with a moderate Republican.
If we must talk about abortion, we must be empathic in our approach to the other person so we can come to know and understand the needs of the other team.
Once we understand their need to see fewer abortions, we can probably also agree that while a woman's right to choice should be sacred, no woman relishes the idea of an abortion. Reducing abortion means supporting women to have better options in birth control and childcare - these are on the social agenda of democrats.
In recognizing this, I think we need to quickly change the discussion of abortion over to strategies that will help reduce/eliminate abortion without legislation. This way we meet their need to see fewer abortions and our needs to live in a free society. We also partner with a moderate person and hopefully help them see our point of view on freedom, social and economic justice and tolerance.
Following this logic, the only things we can probably reasonably say about abortion to a moderate anti-choice Republican are something along the lines of:
You feel that there should be fewer abortions? So do I. Yet adoption is such a painful choice for many women who choose to have their babies. Why do you think women choose abortion?
What about a girl who was raped by her father? What are your feelings about that?
Could we work together to reduce the number of abortions by helping to create better childcare/education/job birth control options for women?
I've had this kind of conversation with a pro-life Catholic and it was even more effective than I would have guessed. The idea here is to respect and answer to their needs for fewer abortions without any hint of legislation. Solutions that will both help to significantly reduce the number of abortions while protecting women's rights in a free society usually work for most people.
No Americans (other than fundamentalist Christians) really want oppressive government - that's why Republicans hate taxes. We can use this as a bridge and make the alliance with the moderates, hence removing the wedge here and placing it between them and the extreme right - who advocate for government involvement in people's personal lives.
Now, I do realize that the gay-marriage ban, the stem-cell research ban and the threat to Roe V. Wade are very real legal battles facing us and these are still framed in Republican terms. We will need to continue to stand up for these issues publicly as they are outlined because this is how opponents are targeting our freedom.
I am only suggesting that
- we attack Republicans for their assault on religious freedom and social/economic justice by their attempts to legislate private behavior; and
- in our day to day conversations with coworkers, family, or others who might have voted for their moral values, we should turn their attention to things government should protect, like truth, freedom, justice and civil liberties. We shouldn't support friends using language that says humans can't be trusted to make decisions about who to love or when to have children. We need to change the agenda to our own.
Because, really, when you make yourself a champion of truth, justice, freedom and the American way, what American can effectively disagree with you?