Andy Borowitz has
the scoop on Rumsfeld's attack on the White House for failing to provide him with body armor before scheduling his meeting with the troops in Kuwait.
Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld blasted the White House today for not providing him with full body armor for his acrimonious question-and-answer session with troops in Kuwait this week, saying that the lack of body armor put him in a potentially perilous situation.
"I felt totally unprotected out there," Secretary Rumsfeld said. "You cannot send a Secretary of Defense out on a mission like that without full body armor."
Secretary Rumsfeld said he had spent hours scavenging around Kuwait City looking for body armor before his meeting with troops, and warned that he would "think twice" before engaging in another question-and-answer session without adequate protection.
As usual, Borowitz's satire is hysterical. But, humor aside, Rumsfeld's encounter with the troops reveals volumes about the Mess-o-potamia (even if the revelations are old news to Kossacks). More importantly, the story seems to have legs. And the timing is just amazing, coming right after it was announced that Rumsfeld is staying on as SecDef.
In any event, you should read the whole article if you enjoy laughing, but here's a spoiler if you just want to see the funny ending:
[Bush said] that until a new body armor suit was ready, Mr. Rumsfeld would have to make do with a Brooks Brothers suit for future encounters with troops.
"You go to war with the Secretary of Defense you have," he said.