From the
dKOSOPEDIA "Kossary"...
snarky: Adjective describing a witty mannerism, personality, or behavior that is a combination of sarcasm and cynicism; subversive, sneaky, clever, mean. (Maryscott OConnor)
After a long period of wondering whether or not our earnest outrage at the onslaught of Republican evildoing had utterly robbed us of our capacity for snark, I find myself compiling a list of today's posts that makes The Onion read like a mouthful of sand.
First, and hot off the presses, an unconscionably snarky
introduction to an
important new blog offered by
Mike Stark. Read it. Feel dirty. Remind Mike that he can't take it back.
Next, what recap of Wednesday, March 30th, 2005 would be complete without a serious discussion of jeremymc's diary, "My experience at Kos." For those of you who haven't seen it, jeremymc bids dKos an abrupt farewell for our inability to appreciate his work, only to be drowned in a collossal avalance of snark the likes of which this Kossack has never seen. It was almost as if he'd somehow driven an acupuncture needle into the snark nerve itself, sending more than 600 Kossackian synapses into rapid fire mode (myself included).
A snark sampler from "My experience at Kos":
I'm replying here because I want everyone to see this very
very important post and I believe I speak for everyone when I say it's more important than all the posts below. (Rated 3.92/41)
In fact, the only thing jeremymc did wrong, IMO, was not post this as his first diary on dKos. Now that would have been worth some mojo! (Rated 3.83/6)
Has anyone ever written a really good "I'm still here" diary? (Sadly, not rated)
Like I'd use your diaries as an advertisement for my petty ego. That's what open threads are for! Get with the program. (Rated 4.00/6)
People here are very honest and blunt, so sorry your feelings are hurt. Now don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out. (Rated 4.00/2)
Maybe you should try leaving more often. It appears to bring out much good cheer and plenty of agreement. (Rated 4.00/10)
You think everyone who read Swift sat back and see "golly gee, this sure is an intereting commentary on the current political system?" No, you fuckshit. They criticized him for making light of baby-eating. (4.00/7)
I've started about a half a dozen diaries and then I worry no one will comment on them so I quit and edit my preemptive "Goodbye Kos!" diary. (Rated 4.00/4)
I once read a book by Ayn Rand and partially understood it, and I have listened to several books-on-tape by the noted satirist Paul Reiser so if you don't recognize my previous post for the sheer cutting and insightful social commentary it is, well you're an effing luddite mouthbreathing troll. (Rated 4.00/4)
Amazing diary. Where's your tip jar? (Rated 4.00/8)
I think it would be great to create a template--or perhaps a checklist--for GoodByeCruelWorld diaries. Then, kossacks could judge these things like an ice-skating competition! (Rated 4.00/20)
Whether you know it or not, I just put out a huge basket of Bugles and a giant tub of onion dip. Also, I just tapped a keg. Ha! You're having second thoughts! (Rated 4.00/15)
...and my personal favorite...
GAZE...
(Rated 4.00/27)
The day in snark also brought us:
Bob Johnson's shocking announcement that he, too, has decided to go on a feeding tube.
Another installment of Cheers and Jeers "CHEERS to God's will. Jerry Falwell is in critical condition after apparently suffering a heart attack yesterday. Go ahead and blame the feminists and the gays. We'll be happy to take full credit for this one."
And, of course...
This is Some Fucking Bullshit, Man (GBCW w/poll) "What the fuck is this shit? Plutonium Page is a new front page poster? What about ME...you elitist cocksuckers?!?!?"
All in all, it's been one damned fine day for snark.
Update [2005-3-31 3:23:41 by alysheba]: Mike Stark took down his "Important New Blog" diary. But, offensive as it may be, the "blog" link to which he originally referred is still active. VISIT AT YOUR OWN RISK - EXTREME, OUT-OF-BOUNDS SNARK.