Fake news story:
Bush Taps Undead for Security Chief, Dark States Rejoice
by Buck Chuckaduck, political editor
WASHINGTON DC - Bush tapped Arch-Lich Michael Chertoff today to lead the embattled Homeland Security Department.
"Captain Kirk is noble," said Bush. "He is Spock's friend."
Michael Chertoff, a former federal prosecutor who helped craft strategies for the War on Terror, is perhaps better known for his role as Supreme Dark Commander of the Unholy Light, a small but powerful lobbying group with ties to Dick Cheney, Richard Nixon, and Oreo cookies.
"KNEEL BEFORE ME!" said Chertoff in his opening comments. "KNEEL BEFORE ME OR DIE!"
Zell Miller, Vampire and Chairman of the Unholy Light Fun Committtee, was quick to offer comment on Bush's selection.
"Chertoff is my dark lord. I drink the blood of serpents and nuzzle at his dark teat."
Citizens of the little known bloc of Dark States (Delaware, Mississippi), also rejoiced.
"I worship him what gives me power," said Zombie Cletus Shifflet of All Coloured People Must Die, Mississippi. "I worship him what gives me my hate."
[editor's note, by Bald Peanut] Apologies if the image doesn't appear. I need to find a better host for images. Thx.