In another story that I am diarying out of sheer disbelief, Paris Hilton and Nicole Simpson have been blocked from filming a segment of their
hit reality series (sorry about the bold. I find it too hard to believe without bold) "The Simple Life" from a suburban middle school...
in NEW JERSEY!
More after the FREEDOM FOLD. (TM)
"Simple Life" Too Saucy for Schoolkids
Tue Jan 11, 7:35 PM ET Television - E! Online
By Julie Keller
Paris and Nicole are just too hot for rural New Jersey.
Parents at a school in Buena Vista Township, a small farming community in South Jersey, have led a protest that helped nixed plans to film an episode of the third season of The Simple Life there.
Apparently, locals fear the show and its stars, especially sometime porn goddess Hilton, are inappropriate for children and would lead to mass ridicule of the town.
"It's a no-brainer," one local, John Krokos, told the Associated Press. "You don't bring this type of person into a school with 11- or 12-year-old kids in it."
Celebutantes Hilton and Richie were supposed work as substitute teachers and cafeteria monitors at the J.P. Cleary Middle School. The hit Fox reality show had offered school officials $5,000 for their hospitality.
I was initially puzzled about how to present this to maximize ridicule. However, since I'm halfway out the door, I'll just brainstorm some ironies, and you guys do what you want.
- "The Simple Life" is one of Fox's highest rated non-sports show.
- "The Simple Life" is in its third season.
- "The Simple Life" is a reality show that is driven by the contestants.
- NJ, a blue state, was initially confused about what to do. Thank God they had some fundamentalists there.
- As substitutes, Nicole and Paris might actually be an improvement over what they are using now.
- The main reason for barring them: "They might * gasp * use a Naughty Word accidentally!"
- The middle school students probably would have dissed them and made them outcasts for being too conservative.
- I think the real reason they were barred was because attendance would increase, students might actually pay attention, and since they are "role models", students would immediately start dressing in sweaters and poodle skirts as a source of rebellion, causing all the "Skank n' Ho" stores to close down and go bankrupt...
- ...which would, in turn, cause a revolution in pedagogy where teachers would be forced to dress as skank ho's, talk nonsense, and present all lessons over the internet in creepy green videos.