Houston, Texas always seems to be the very bedrock of the modern GOP. My wife's family is from there, and when I visit, I feel like I am walking amongst a foreign, pampered breed. There's plenty of bright smiles with impossibly straight teeth, and eyes that peer mercilously from streaky oh-so rigid hairsprayed locks...always reminds me that I need to have that large tattoo "Liberal Jew" removed from my forehead (we all make mistakes).
Oh, but lately something seems to have changed. Changed so very, very much. At least accoridng to my mother-in-law, who now contemplates moving from this USofA to another country...but...to where?
Over a lovely dinner of greasy enchiladas and watery margaritas (my poor choice in restaurant), the subject of Dubya and his cronies came up. Usually we try to not discuss politics, but how can you not these days?
"If Hillary wins in 2008, I'm leaving the country!"
These words from lips of my mother-in-law caught me so off guard. No doubt, she had heard this from friends at some Houston mixer, where many of her friends have similar feelings and disappointments...
But, isn't this not what I've been saying (and all my commie-liberal-faggot-jew friends) for the past six years? "If f%$#@!-ing Bush wins, I'm gonna leave this country!" My mind always dreamt of New Zealand, or Canada, France...anywhere.
But, is this how Repubs are feeling these days? Could it be that their disintegrating party has so let them down, that defeat is what they expect? I mean, here's a good Texas woman, dreaming of leaving the US? Wow.
My next thought was...where? Where the hell would you go? To the socialist and gunless chill of Canada? To the snobbily arrogant ways of Freedom, er, France? Go hang with sheep and hairy hippies in New Zealand?
Where the fuck do Republicans dream of moving to? Yes, they have been let down by the masterful slime of the modern GOP. yes, they have been sold a bill-of-goods, and now suddenly, horribly, it is all snapping into clearer view...but, where?
Maybe in 2008 they will all just take departing escape cruise-ships, leaving from the crowded docks of Ft. Lauderdale or Tampa...clutching all the Lladro figurines and football replay tapes that their Suburban's and Hummer's could fit. French-tipped nails attached to hands waving their tickets in the air...me! Me next! The last cruise from America, not their America, but the America of President Clinton II, the bitch one.
The anchor is raised, the dock ropes loosened. Tears are shed as they watch their wonderful land of such promise, and such dissapointment, fade further away. Gone, the days of cheap gas, low taxes, scared Democrats and, what are them fags called? Oh yeah, the Green party. Sweet Jesus. What has become of our sweet land.
The smoke lazily rises from the stack of the Carnival Mega-Princess, quickly renamed in the last few days to the "Freedom". She sails, like a modern Noah's ark...two by two the Repubs did board...leaving before the flood of liberalism returned to the US and ultimately kills it forever. Doris and Butch clutch hands, watching from the Lido deck. They turn, and smile nervously to eachother.
"This ain't so bad Doris. We'll make a new life. You just wait and see."
He pushes her stiff, streaked, hairsprayed locks from her forehead, and places a kiss upon her botoxed brow, as the last American sunset casts farewell hues of dying oranges and fading reds...before them, only sea...green and churning, that leads to their new home, that enchanted, liberal-free land of ____.