Do my eyes deceive me, or has Bush posted want ads on Monster????
Job #: W16543
Position Name: Deputy Chief of Staff to the President
Location: Washington, DC
Motivated self-starter needed as high-level government-sector political strategist/hatchet man. The Deputy Chief of Staff will be responsible for facilitating the manipulation of public opinion and political processes to ensure the achievement of the organization's long-term economic and geo-political objectives. Must have demonstrated 20+ year track record of successfully implementing political dirty tricks, hatchet jobs, and smear campaigns to achieve electoral victories. Prior experience with mobilizing, manipulating and inciting voters with right-wing, Christian fundamentalist and/or homophobic tendencies a plus. Ability to convince the public that glaringly obvious deficiencies of the CEO are actually attributes is highly desirable. US citizenship and prior membership in College Republicans required.
More job postings below:
Job#: W16544
Position Name: Chief of Staff to the Vice President
Location: Washington, DC
Loyal aide needed to assist the Vice President of a major government organization (who functions as the de facto CEO). The Special Assistant will be responsible for implementing all non-public, outside-the-normal-government-chain-of-command cabals and conspiracies. Must have demonstrated ability not to get caught when implementing such unethical, illegal activities. Must have excellent memory (strong preference will be given to individuals who can conduct plots without taking notes during strategy meetings). US citizenship required.
Job#: 16545
Position Name: Chief of Staff to the President
Location: Washington, DC
Astute individual potentially needed to replace current ineffectual yes-man. Good organizational skills and ability to multi-task strongly desired: Will be required to simultaneously handle multiple political and legal scandals, economic meltdown of country, and geo-political Armageddon caused by disastrous foreign policy decisions. Job application process will entail submitting a written response to the following question: "Describe why nominating an unqualified toady political acolyte to a position on the nation's highest Court might be perceived negatively in light of numerous deaths caused two months earlier by the incompetence of a previously-appointed unqualified political hack". Sandwich-acquisition duties negotiable.
Job#: 16546
Position Name: Vice-President
Location: Washington, DC
Individual with good public reputation needed in the event of the disgrace/indictment of the position's incumbent. Must have the ability to reassure the public that the nation is not veering off the cliff while simultaneously hewing to the administration's current geo-poltical policies. Will give consideration to a war-hero type who demonstrated slavish Party loyalty by actively assisting with re-election efforts despite knowledge of the ruinous policies being carried out by same.
If you see (hallucinate) any other job postings on Monster for other government positions, please feel free to post them below.