frontpaged at My Left Wing
Just when you thought the right couldn't possibly get any dumber, here comes...CAPTAIN FALAFEL!!! <trumpets blare>
Media Matters and Atrios are already on top of this, but having something of a passing interest in history myself, I had to mention it.
So...sit down Edward Gibbon, go to hell Charles Beard, shut up Bruce Catton and listen good David McCullough! It's time to school you and everyone else in history, O'Reilly style.
So Bill was arguing with a caller on his radio show as he is wont to do, when the following escaped his mouth (for your benefit, I'll bold the REALLY stupid parts):
O'REILLY: All right. But let me counter that, [caller], and you can comment on my comment. That's the prevailing wisdom in a lot of the precincts, is that because blacks were in slavery in the United States, they were never able to develop an infrastructure of education and culture to compete with the white majority. That is the prevailing wisdom in lots and lots of places. Let me submit this to you, and then you can comment on it.
My people came from County Cavan in Ireland. All right? And the British Crown marched in there with their henchman, Oliver Cromwell, and they seized all of my ancestors' lands, everything. And they threw them into slavery, pretty much indentured servitude on the land. And then the land collapsed, all right? And everybody was starving in Ireland. They had to leave the country, just as Africans had to leave -- African-Americans had to leave Africa and come over on a boat and try to make in the New World with nothing. Nothing. And succeeded, succeeded. As did Italians, as did -- and I'll submit to you, African-Americans are succeeding as well. So all of these things can be overcome I think
I'll give you a minute to recover.
...
Really something, huh? Let's see what the interested parties have to say about Bill's version of history, shall we?
Hi, I'm Charles I. Although Oliver Cromwell played an instrumental role in my trial and execution by beheading, I want to assure you all he was in fact my loyal henchman who loved me and cheerfully did all I asked of him. He loved the British Crown, despite fighting against it in the English Civil War. Don't try to figure it out, you'll just hurt yourself. I'd offer a further explanation, but I'm dead, and I have to be getting back to the Other Side. Dig the beard, eh? I know all the ladies really liked it! Eh, eh? Get it? Bah, you modern people. 17th century audiences would be in stitches.
Okay, next up we have 19th century slaves, held in bondage in the American south:
Greetings! We're an African family who cheerfully booked a cruise on Middle Passage Ship Lines to come to America and try to make a happy new life. In order to earn a bit of extra money, we sold ourselves into degrading slavery and...OH JESUS GOD ARE YOU FUCKING NUTS BILL O'REILLY?!?! WE WERE PEOPLE IN OUR HOMELAND, AND HERE WE'RE PROPERTY! WE DIDN'T ASK TO BE TAKEN, WE WERE KIDNAPPED BY BRUTE FORCE YOU FUCKING CRAZY ASSHOLE. WE CAN BE BEATEN AND SOLD AT SOMEONE ELSE'S WHIM!!
Sorry for shouting, but we feel that point cannot be stressed enough.
So there you have it folks...wait, I'm getting another message from Charles I:
In case you all didn't get it, I was being facetious up there. Goddamn, where did you dig this O'Reilly asshole up? Seriously, is that the best you can do? And millions of people LISTEN to this guy? Wow. Makes me glad I'm dead.
Oh and Lincoln? Totally gay. He wants me in the worst way, I can tell. Just thought I'd answer that one for you...you don't even want to know about Catherine the Great and the unicorns hereabouts. Trust me. Ta.