Ok, shit is getting kinda scary now. This can't be for real can it?
http://progressive.org/mag_mc100405
...but, sadly, it probably is. Wal-mart saved America.
It seems things have gotten so bad in this country, the "us" and "them" mentality, that even pimpled-faced checkers at some distant discount mega-store feel compelled to keep their eyes peeled for Osama's associates, even if it comes in the form of a kid their little sister knows from school.
This reminds me of some 16mm training film, shot by some square-headed army type in 1957, with no sense of how to frame a shot. "Be vigilant, and always keep your eyes open" for any enemies of the state. Christ! is this for real, now, here?
I'm just a jaded west-coast avocado-eatin' liberal, insulated from the real-world by the coastal cliffs and my Mojito. There's no way that I know what's REALLY going on; the masses of foreign agents infiltrating the very fabric of our society. This kid in North Carolina was surely dropped from 35,000 feet by a commie spy-plane, inserted via a full-on H.A.L.O. mission right into Kitty-Hawk.
God, could it be any more plausible? I'm sure somewhere, in some meeting room far beneath the volcano crater's cone, under the huge portaits that line the room of Mao, Stalin, Osama, Clinton, the cigar chomping generals and masked uber-agents of the F.O.R.B.E.A. (Full-On Real Big Enemies of America) plan and plot. But, thank god for Wal-mart, defender of the USofA! How that smoky room must be filled with grumbles and clenched fists, as they watch the giant screen and see replays of the moment that zit-visaged photo employee foild Operation 556.a.92.
And, we should thank god too, for who the hell knows what evil that "anonymous student" had in mind.
What a profound lesson in Vigilance, my fellow Americans, and to always keep your eyes peeled. Even if you are one of the unlucky few who do not work at America's soul, Wal-mart, you still have a duty to protect us...the next H.A.L.O. insertion could be targeted at your Burger King, Mickey-D's, or am/pm...stay vigilant, and, God bless all of us.