I went to see
Brokeback Mountain Friday night. Three friends and I saw it at the "Premium Theater" (upscale, with food & alcohol--no minors). Although I
rarely go see movies, and
almost never get excited about a particular flick, I was anxious to see this one.
I almost wish now that I hadn't gone.
Don't get me wrong. It was an excellent movie, which I highly recommend. But it hit a little too close to home for me. I can't stop thinking about it. It has stirred up every emotion imaginable within me. So many that I don't know where to begin sorting them out.
I see a lot of myself in Ennis Del Ray (Heath Ledger). And I see parts of me (the misfit) in Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal). I see a little of Matt Shepard in him, too.
I think what upsets me most, though, is the fear that I could easily end up like Ennis. As I approach my fifties, that is a thought that truly haunts me. Don Henley nailed it in the song Desperado. We "need to let somebody love us, before it's too late".
But enough about me...
The theater itself was very nice. Upscale, as I said. We had drinks before the show, then (because we arrived late) ate dinner during the show, in our leather chairs with side-tables. The audience was a mix of gay & straight couples, one or two families with a gay sibling in-tow, and a few groups of friends, like ours. The "straight folks" all seemed to be "enlightened". And they all behaved themselves, which is miraculous for DuPage County.
Overall, the movie was awesome. Well directed, with beautiful scenery, although some of the scenes were a little awkward. Maybe they were supposed to be, I don't know. All I do know is that the movie was sad. Very sad. It made me angry. It made me cry...I NEVER cry (in public, anyway).
For those of you squeamish about gay sex scenes, fear not. They are kept to an absolute minimum. For once, someone made a gay-themed movie about LOVE, instead of SEX.
Dubbed "The Gay Cowboy Movie", it follows the lives of two young ranch hands over the course of some twenty-odd years. It starts in 1963, in Wyoming's sheep herding country.
Ledger's character is emotionally stunted by several traumatic experiences, including the loss of his parents, during his childhood. He never learned how to love anyone, let alone another cowboy. One of those childhood memories involved the murder of a local gay man, which further complicated his relationship with Jack.
Jack, on the other hand, didn't give a damn about society. He just wanted to share his life with Ennis, his one true love. Poor Jack was somewhat of an "ugly duckling". He just never quite found a place where he fit in. In retrospect, that may have been the theme of the movie...There WAS no place for Jack to fit in...No place he wanted to be, anyway.
I'm going to stop here, before I spoil the ending. But I will say this...After seeing this movie, I have much better understanding of just how Matthew Shepard ended up beaten and tied to a fence...That is to say, how the "Wyoming Cowboy" mind works. It explains a lot about Dick Cheney.
Gay, straight or otherwise, go see the movie. It's not about queer sex. It's about true love between two people. A life-long love, that society kept them from sharing.
Oh...For what it's worth, I think Gyllenhaal should have gotten the "Best Actor" nod.