President Bush illegally ordered NSA operatives to hack Santa Claus's "Naughty or Nice" List after President Bush and Bush administration officials were stripped Bush of "Nice" standing by Santa. The "Naughty or Nice" list is Santa Claus's key leading indicator of individual toy worthiness.
National Security Agency operatives used flaws in the Xbox 360 programming code to hide malware which wormed it's way into the North Pole "Naughty or Nice" database. NSA personnel altered the Naughty/Nice standing of not only Bush and his GOP loyalists, but also billions of children all over the world.
The attack on Santa's North Pole computers was detected by accident by an elvish associate of Santa, Dr. Hermey, DDS.
"If I hadn't been required to take those CS classes as part of my pre-dental program at the University of Calgary, Christmas would have been ruined this year.", Dr. Hermey said.
"Most of the year, I run the dental clinic here, but I always help Santa out where I can during the Christmas rush. I checked the databases loading the sleigh, and 4 billion loads of coal came up. I knew something was dreadfully wrong. A friend of a friend down in Calgary helps out on the Open BSD project there in Calgary. He called Theo de Raadt, and the Open BSD team talked me through what had to be done here, and then they were able to fix the rest of the damage from Calgary over the net." Dr. Hermey said.
This was not Theo de Raadt's first run-in with the Bush Administration. US Defense Department funding of the Open BSD project de Raadt is a leader in was eliminated after de Raadt spoke out publicly again the US war in Iraq.
"The North Pole "Naughty or Nice" database had been almost completely reversed. They had the worm change almost every single child on the planet to "naughty", with the exception of Bush, Bush Administration officials, and Bush pioneers-level fund raisers were now rated as "nice.". Bush had the NSA change the list so that Bush campaign contributers were the only ones receiving toys. All the rest of the people around the world were getting coal. So we ran a Lexis-Nexis business news search, and, sure enough, Halliburton bought a major coal processing operation at the beginning of December. I could not believe it. Those neo-conservative (deleted) in the US had figured out how to turn Christmas into a coal mining operation. We had just enough time to get the database back close to what it should be, though. There's a lot of coal headed for DC and Texas now. A whole lotta coal." said de Raadt.