Wmtriallawyer's
diary about demagoguery on dKos - and the heated response it received -- got me thinking. If you'll forgive a relative newcomer for speaking up, I'd like to share some thoughts about this fascinating community.
What the discussion surrounding that diary shows is that the Daily Kos community is much like the real world. There is compassion shown for those in pain. There are courageous attempts to find the "truth." There is civil discussion. There is genuine concern for the victims in our society, and sadness for the trampling of values so many of us hold dear.
But there is also envy of front pagers and others. There is sadness at having one's diaries ignored. There is anger that some misuse the power of rating and recommending. There is irritation that pictures of kitties distract from "more important" things. There is defensiveness when one's ideas are attacked or contributions rejected.
There's more....
I've got this quotation from Carlos Casteneda on the side of my fridge:
Self-importance is man's greatest enemy. What weakens him is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of his fellow men. Self-importance requires that one spend most of one's life offended by something or someone.
Over the past year or so, I've come to see that this is a really useful piece of insight. What's clear to me is that most of our pain and suffering is caused by our own sense of self-importance, or ego. That's true at work, in our families, and even on the internets. As Marianne Williamson write in The Gift of Change:
No matter what other people might have done to us....it is still our option to forgive, to rise above, to be defenseless, and also important to search our own minds and hearts for ways we might have helped create or attract their darkness....
Sometimes we realize that part of our personality is fear-based ego. Others might judge us for it, but that isn't even what's important. In fact, it is irrelevant because only someone's ego would feel the need to point out yours. Your ego issues don't matter because of other people's judgments of you; they matter because they are blocking your light, your joy....
Below the Casteneda quotation on my fridge are "Seven Steps for Overcoming Self-Importance" from a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer (yes, he's the dude with the ugly sweaters who shows up on PBS during pledge week) called The Power of Positive Intention, :
1. Stop being offended.
2. Let go of your need to win.
3. Let go of your need to be right.
4. Let go of your need to be superior.
5. Let go of your need to have more.
6. Let go of identifying yourself based on your achievements.
7. Let go of your reputation.
I think you need to read his book to really get what he's trying to say, but a lot of it comes down to this: stop taking yourself so goddamn seriously. I've found this to be a useful way to live my life. I take my work, economic justice, and parenting seriously, but I am slowly learning to not take myself so damned seriously.
So what does all this have to do with Daily Kos? Just this: if we want to have a more civil community, if we want to have a free exchange of ideas about how to restore government by and for the people, then let's each be the change we wish to make. Let's try to disagree in ways that enlighten others, not scorch their eyebrows. Another Wayne Dyer thought (and let me say that I like a lot of what he says but disagree with some of it): "When we judge others, we identify ourself as one who needs to judge."
That said, I think it's important to follow the advice of Byron Katie, another self-help guru I've found useful, and not argue with reality. If reality is that Kossacks like to share photos of their cats, you can get all cranky about it or you can just shrug it off. Why waste emotional energy on stuff you can't change? I'm writing this in the middle of the night because I'm in pain from sciatica. I have a choice: I can be pissed off at the world for the back spasm that caused it, or I can just accept it, maybe try to learn something from the pain, and be grateful that I have this time to write this essay. (I do shout obscenities when the pain gets bad, but that's beside the point.)
I'm all for channeling our collective energy into supporting a 50-state strategy to take control of Congress. But because we're all human beings (kitties excluded), I'm pretty sure we're not going to get there in a straight line, in full agreement. If some people need to rant, and others need to read the rantings, and some people need to build a sense of community by posting pictures of their pets, that's okay - there are still plenty of others to write the well-researched diaries on Diebold and Alito and all the rest.