I do my share of promoting good books. Especially when they tell us a clue of how to figure out the opposite sex.
We are good women, looking for a good man (or woman, if that floats your boat). So we need to know when the object of our affection is NOT THAT INTO US. Greg Beherenhardt (sp) and Liz Tucillo are writers from that cable show "Sex and the City", so I figured if anyone would know it's these two individuals.
I've read this book and it was an eye-opener, not to mention a life lesson for me. I just wish I had it 12 years ago, when the following happened to me.
I was some of the women in this book. Twelve years ago, I ran into the guy who took me to my Senior Prom. As luck would have it, he was divorced, and, I thought at the time, looking for a relationship. So, before I left the BART station, he made a point of getting my phone number and he gave me his home phone, cell phone and pager (he was an Oakland police officer).
Two days later, he followed up by calling me. We talked for several hours and before I got off the phone, just thinking I'd spent a nice evening on the phone with an old friend, he asked me out on a formal date - dinner in after-five dress, followed by a jazz concert. We set the date a month away, because I was traveling for a couple of weeks, and he being an undercover police officer, was going on assignment for three.
So the date was set. The night of the date, I had a weird feeling he wasn't going to show. Guess what? He didn't. He stood me up? No call, nothing.
So, for two months, I wondered what the hell happened? When I ran into him six months later, I asked the "What the Hell happened" question and was told he'd suffered a stroke the night of our date. His commanding officer vouched for him, giving me details.
He didn't arrange to set up another date - but gave every indication he wanted to see me. Yet he never called, never wrote, never did a god-damned thing - I did it all, until one day (a year later) I got fed up and said, finally, "To hell with him". Of course, meeting someone else who WAS into me helped.
The bottom line - my cop friend was a loser who didn't know how to tell me he didn't want a relationship with me, even though those words that he did want me came flying out of his mouth.
But Karma is an MF - I saw erstwhile date on a BART train, 40 years old, but looking 65! And looking like he wanted to have a conversation to explain what the hell happened between us. I ran like hell off that train in my haste to get away and not give him the opportunity to come back into my life with some lame excuse. Now that he's broken down, tired, and probably still lame, he wants me. That's an insult and he had his chance, and I hope he reads this blog because I want him to know he blew the opportunity to have a good, caring, loving woman in his life.
As Greg said in the book "Don't waste the Pretty" and I don't plan to! The best lesson I learned in this book:
"We don't like you (women) chasing us (me) because we don't want to know if we can get you. That's a challenge to us that we want, and it adds to the pursuit..." (I'm probably paraphrasing, but you get the point."