I have a secret. I enjoy watching Bill O'Reilly. And Pat Buchanan And Joe Scarbourough. And even Tucker Carlson, whom I loathe, and I mean, loathe. But he wears a bowtie and reminds me of my cousin, and that has to count for something, doesn't it?
But when it comes down to it, Bill O'Reilly is the cream of the crop. I adore watching him talk down to other people and yell progressively louder as his opponents stare at him blankly via statelite. I love his accusing other people of spinning on a punditry show. And sometimes, if I'm lucky, I get to see Bill O'Reilly talk about indecency and the horrors of sexual deviants absconding our women. And that is an infotainment orgasm in my book, because any man who can say what Bill O'Reilly has said regarding falafal and women then go on TV and bitch about Paris Hilton, well, that's better than Ms. Hilton herself!
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If it weren't for people like Bill O'Reilly, how could I keep my liberal outrage constantly revved? I mean, there were a couple of months after the election when I had to nurse my wounds and turn off Bill O'Reilly, watch Law and Order SVU, instead (not West Wing. It was still too painful). But then I turned it on one day and there was my guy, talking about the horrors of killing Terry and what do you know? I could be indignant again! It was like a breath of fresh air. I don't think Bill will ever appreciate how much that meant to me, although, I give credit where credit is due, so shout out to Masters Frist and Delay. You totally get an assist on that one.
If it weren't for Bill O'Reilly, how could I judge how poorly the president is doing? (Hint, the fluffier the story on Bill O'Reilly, the more Republicans have conceeded the point). I saw all those stories on Natalee Holloway last night and knew that the general public found the president's speech as depressing as I did. Could CNN have told me that? No. Because they never show news on principle, instead of just when the president is tanking.
If it weren't for Bill O'Reilly, how would I have the perfect retort when a Republican spouts party-line? Those quips take timing and a good deal of yelling at the TV to nail. Moreover, he's great advance warning for what they're going to say...exactly what they're going to say, in fact. And really, you can't effectively debate a foe unless you understand their position on the issues. Attack from the inside, that's what I say.
In the end, though, he's just entertaining. Right/Wrong, I'll shrug it off. It really doesn't matter whether you agree. It matters whether you tune in.
Bob Novak, though, is still the foulest piece of scum to walk the Earth. No justification there. He's the slime of the Earth. Thank God Crossfire was cancelled.