(He, he. Pace Georgia 10. I've wanted to post a breaking news diary ever since someone posted on your own how much they objected to them on here. But this is at least genuine)
I understand from BBC breaking news that interrupted a live newscast from the er..um...Paris Olympic..um ..er..party, that didn't take place, that George Bush has been injured whilst riding his bicycle around Gleneagles.
He apparently collided with a police car.
Full details are not clear, but it is understood that he has injured an ankle.
Unfortunately, this will not be reported in full as I understand it is not the policy to announce civilian casualties.
Perhaps he had seen the menu for this evening's banquet and, after a quick chat with Jacques Chirac, decided that he wanted an excuse not to sample the Scottish beef. After all, you can't have George Bush catching mad cow disease can you? It scrambles the brain, don't you know?