An experiment: Wherein I attempt to be a conservative for one week.
(A seven part series.)
Day six: Scientism and Religionology.
You can't spell evolution without evil. Or ution. All humans are descended from the first family: Adam and Eve and their children, Pebbles and Bam-Bam. The universe, like the curly fry, was made by intelligent design. You can sit and contemplate its wonder for hours and you will never begin to grasp how God could make a fry so curly.
There is no such thing as global warming. The earth is not getting warmer. And the only reason it is getting warmer has nothing to do with carbon bioxide. It is because of people who wear white after Labor Day, thus extending the summer.
(continued beneath the fold)
All energy needs can be solved by peak oil. Peak is good, oil is good, therefore peak oil is the solution.
There is no such thing as an O-zone. All zones end with end zones. An O shaped zone would make field goals much more difficult.
Stem cell research is wrong. Stem cells should not perform research. It should only be performed by qualified scientificists. All stems cells are living humans and are therefore entitled to rights. As human beings they should be not be used in experiments and must be disposed of in a suitable trash receptacle.
Mad cows are not dangerous. They are only mad at the tax-and-spend Democrats who have driven up the budget deficit.
In 1963 the evil Supreme Court outlawed school prayer and all religious thought. This lead to the collapse of society and the cancellation of The Real McCoys.
God, like heaven and hell, is a scientistic fact and must be taught in schools. Reagan is the proof that heaven must exist. Where else could Reagan be now?
Hitler is the proof that hell must exist. There must be an eternal punishment for someone who killed six million Jews. Of course, God, in his infinite wisdom, will place all Jews in eternal punishment for denying Jesus as their Savior.
Eternity is a long time. Imagine going out on a date with Ann Coulter. Now imagine you go out on three dates with Ann Coulter. Eternity is nearly this long.
Tomorrow: Day seven, the final entry. The Bush Legacy: Freedom schtonk.
link to day one, Embracing the Bush Family History:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/8/23/182115/010
link to day two, George W. Bush. A life. Yep.:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/8/24/9412/98786
link to day three, Embracing the 2000 Election:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/8/25/16577/0043
link to day four: The Bush Legacy. Foreign Policy and Terrorism.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/8/26/162146/895
link to day five: It's the Stupid Economy.
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2005/8/27/95012/9153