Reality-show producer extraordinaire Mark Burnett announced today that next season's hit NBC show
The Apprentice will be headed by recently jailed New York Times reporter Judith Miller.
An NBC press release quotes Mr. Burnett: "We believe Ms. Miller's vast experience can be very valuable to young journalists. True, she is not a multimillionaire, but today she is perhaps the most high profile journalist in the country, if not in the world. Plus she has undoubtedly recently experienced many, many things in prison we can only imagine."
A high-ranking confidential source close to Mr. Burnett disclosed, "Anonymous surveys indicate yes, viewers like learning about the business models, but they continue to watch each week wondering if Martha Stewart got any girl on girl action while in prison. Judy Miller should draw on that same demographic, and well, if he ever got Judy and Martha in the same room on the same show to share prison stories, man oh man that'd probably blow the ratings right out the roof."
Speculation abounds about this being the reason Ms. Miller apparently stayed in prison much longer than she needed to, since a confidentiality waiver by her source, Scooter Libby, had been filed more than a year ago.
"Six months would have been ideal, but the grand jury term expires in October so she had to settle for three," cited another high-ranking confidential source close to Ms. Miller. "Judy needed that long to get into the whole girl-behind-bars mindset."
Today after her grand jury appearance Ms. Miller stated with a smile and a wink, "I'm happy to be free, I'm happy to have protected my source with the utmost of journalistic integrity, and I'm happy to have experienced many, many things in prison I couldn't before have even imagined."
Falafel Sex, and Other Things Best Left Unsaid