One of the perks I looked forward to when joining City Council was the ability to marry couples. By city charter, members of Council can be appointed as marriage officials and perform ceremonies for couples who have the appropriate paperwork from the City Clerk's office.
I was torn about whether or not I should become a marriage officer considering that so many of my friends and neighbors in long-term same-sex relationships are barred from the institution, and so perhaps my participation as a marriage officer at this time is somehow condoning a system that is discriminatory. After many conversations I decided that I would become a marriage officer and that I would bring attention to the marriage equality struggle in that capacity.
Last night was the first of those attempts. During privilege of the floor at our Council meeting, I shared the irony in being the marriage officer who cannot be married by making the following statement:
One month ago this Council appointed marriage officers. Since then, I've come to realize that the irony which does not escape me, is missed by enough people that I feel compelled to point it out. This is the irony that as a marriage officer I am able to marry couples, but am unable to be married due to the fact that I am gay. This fact makes me sad, and sadder still that so many of my friends and acquaintances in long-term same-sex relationships cannot ask me to perform marriages for them.
Just last night the President delivered his State of the Union address in which he compared marriages between same-sex couples to the lobbying scandals that have plagued Washington D.C. I am sure you can imagine how personally insulting that is to me.
I am consoled, however, by the fact that I live in a city and a community in which our Mayor has made a strong statement in favor of marriage equality, in which 25 local couples are suing the state to challenge marriage law, and in which there are lawyers willing to donate their time and effort to this struggle.
So even though this isn't a presidential election year, and you're hearing about it less in the mainstream press, this fight for equal rights continues. I just wanted to provide a small reminder, as the marriage officer who cannot be married.
I will continue to be open to suggestions about other ways in which I can help advance the cause of equal rights and marriage equality.
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Happily Stuck in Ithaca