Halliburton, one of the world's largest providers of products and services to the oil and gas industries, announced today that it has purchased the Liberty Bell from the federal government and will be renaming it the Cheney Memorial Liberty Bell in honor of their former chief executive.
President Bush, who returned from his visit to Mexico this morning, was greeted by White House reporters eager to ask him about the transaction. After stepping off Marine One, the president took time for questions and confirmed that the sale had indeed taken place.
The president is quoted as saying "Dick Cheney has sacrificed much in service to this country" and the "sale is entirely appropriate". However, the president declined to answer when asked how much money the federal government had received in exchange for the landmark saying only that he believed that privatizing the landmark was in the best interest of this country and that the funds would be put to good use by companies working to insure the success of the Iraqi war effort. When reporters press him further, he would only say that the records of the transaction had been sealed and wouldn't be made public for national security reasons.
Fortunately, Halliburton intends to reopen the landmark as soon as they have inscribed the company logo on their new bell. The company spokesman said that members of the general public will still be permitted to visit the famous landmark on certain days by completing a simple form that will be made available on their web site. When asked for further details the spokesman explained that persons interested in visiting The Cheney Memorial Liberty Bell will only need to supply their name, mailing address, and political affiliation. Adding that there could be processing delays to allow for the necessary background checks that would be needed in order to insure the safety of the treasured landmark.
When White House press secretary Scott McClellan was asked about the sale, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold, though to a different corporation, and would now be known as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial.
To obtain tickets simply visit the Halliburton web site and complete the application form by clicking on the following link.
http://www.halliburton.com/...
Happy April Fools Day!
I was inspired to write this after visiting a web site devoted to The Top 100 April Fools Day Hoaxes of All Time. Click on the following link and scroll down a way to see the item this was based on.
http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/...
"In 1996 the Taco Bell Corporation announced that it had bought the Liberty Bell from the federal government and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called up the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell is housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed that it was all a practical joke a few hours later."