I've recently discovered what may become our most prized family heirloom. In the back of an old chest, between yellowed newspaper and some transcripts of a 1932 FDR speech I found it: my great grandmothers recipe for powder. At first time I read its' simple text, I knew the value of this treasure. I gently blew off the dust and wonder how such an important document could have become lost to liberals for so long.
The recipe is simple enough...
Powder:
Take one unpopular Robber baron policy and mix vigorously with potent progressive alternative. Don't bother looking for the perfect policy, just pick the most unpopular one that is ripe at the time and choose a relevant alternative. It's the mixing that counts. The mixing may take a long time to get all the clumps of the old way. Mix with mortar and pestle, all the while stirring constantly. Strain, rinse, and allow to dry. Handle result delicately.
It's just that simple. All you have to do is mix it up.
She even referred to this old school batch FDR made from scratch back when liberals had NOTHING!
The country needs and, unless I mistake its temper, the country demands bold, persistent experimentation. It is common sense to take a method and try it: If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
Not only is it simple, it works. You can make it yourself at home! I tried it. Why only yesterday, I decided to whip up a batch of it myself. I started with the abysmal failure of the Bush administration to rebuild New Orleans, combined that with the popular opinion that we have a duty to help those in need (not only for their benefit of others, but ours as well if such a calamity were to hit our city) and you wouldn't believe the powder I got from it. No more need for all this worry about keeping it dry when we can make more.
Tonight, I intend to get a little bolder in my experiments; after all, we have tons of unpopular policies lying around. I'm going to take the torture of unknown persons in unknown jails by unaccountable officials and mix that with, enforcing the Geneva Convention, protecting the Constitution, and the simple immorality of it. That should give me barrels of powder.
Now it's important to remember to keep your powder away from open flame. I was mixing up a small batch with Scooter Libby and treason when it got too close to one of the burners, and blew up the stove and the toaster. This stuff is potent. So be careful.
Really, we should thank the President. If nothing else, he has given us so many unpopular policies to work with that with a little effort, we'll have power powder coming out of our ears in no time.