But not all of us will be facing charges.
This Sunday's New York Times Op-Ed contains tons of advice, some eerily bad, on how Republicans or Democrats can win in November.
The piece that most surprised me was by former Bush press secretary and celebrated Vulcan ice princess Ari Fleischer. I thought he was in hiding, like Michael Jackson.
I wonder if Mr. Fleischer was drunk or on drugs when he wrote this column? Diminished capacity defenses are so popular with Republicans nowadays. I assume Mr. Fleicher was intoxicated when he wrote:
"I'd remind elderly voters that their increasingly popular prescription drug benefit was brought to them thanks to a Republican initiative, delivered through private markets, not government controls."
Seniors will thank Republicans for Medicare D? My wretched opinion on the flip.
I am always impressed with the sheer number of lies Mr. Fleischer can load into a sentence.
* Ari calls the drug company ripoff currently angering seniors across the country an `increasingly popular prescription drug benefit'.
* He calls the unregulated, price gouging cartels that hatched this money sucking scheme `private markets'.
* And in a breathtaking gust of chutzpah, Ari Fleischer says two words he doesn't believe in at all, `government controls'.
Fleischer gets one thing right. The Republicans provided the `initiative' and the votes for a drug benefit program that benefits drug companies. I doubt the voters will thank them for it.
Mr. Fleischer goes on to engage in stupid lies like "The country wants to win in Iraq." The country, Mr. Fleischer, want to get our troops the hell out of Iraq as safely and quickly as possible, a task complicated by a civil war caused by Republican incompetence. We'll deal with the lies that got us into Iraq later. You'll be hearing from the House and Senate next year.
Mr. Fleischer closes with a damning lie.
"I'd enjoy clashing with my opponent but, above all, I would treat him or her with respect. At the end of the day, we're all in this together."
Tell that to Katrina victims, Mr. Fleischer. Tell that to Iraq veterans and their families.
What do you have for an encore, Mr. Fleischer? "I was only following orders?"