For a while now, I have offered half-hearted smiles and shrugs when swaggering blustering Republicans would laugh about Hillary, insult Al Gore and in general make fun of our inability to challenge the Bush. Hard to fight back, though, because they were usually the company's clients and you never knew how far you could push it.
Occasionally, when the rare opportunity for actually engaging in reasonable conversation appeared, I seized on it like a thirsty person wandering in a desert of insanity.
BUT NO MORE. To all those overblown, bloviating prideful Republicans, who touted their party membership like the key to the best clubhouse, HA HA HA!
So when one of those clients emailed this:
Agenda for the First Night of the Democratic National Convention for 2008:
7:00 P.M. Opening Prayer To The Various Gods.
7:05 P.M. Wiccan Ceremony---Witches For Hillary Coalition.
7:15 P.M. Pledge of Allegiance to United Nations
7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Non-religious prayer and worship ---Jessie Jackson, Al Sharpton.
8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:05 P.M. "Where To Move If We Lose"---Alec Baldwin.
8:15- 8:30 P.M. Homosexual Wedding---Barney Frank officiating.
8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:35 P.M. "Group Hug & Rally"---Susan Sarandon, Alan Alda, Barbara Streisand.
9:00 P.M. Keynote Adress: "Only Our Government Needs Guns"---Chuck Schumer
9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:20 P.M. Abortion Clinic Fundraising Seminar.
9:30 P.M. "How I Created Lasting Peace in the Middle East"---Jimmy Carter.
9:40 P.M. "Good Cigars and Young Women"--- a short talk by William Jefferson Clinton.
9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented "Truth in Journalism" award by Michael Moore & Jayson Blair.
9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:00 P.M. "How I Became A Serious Candidate For President in Two Years"---Barak Obama .
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by former Klansman Robert Byrd.
11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 P.M. "How I Invented The Internet"---Al Gore.
11:15 P.M. "Making Poverty Pay"---John Edwards & Morris Dees.
11:30 P.M. The Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton.
12:00 A.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home.
I replied with this:
Agenda for the First Night of the Republican National Convention for 2008:
7:00 P.M. Opening Prayer - Meth Cocktail Toast - Ted Haggard
7:05 P.M. Prayer for the Resurgence of the Confederate States --- Trent Lott
7:30 P.M. Passing of the Offering Plate - Jack Abramoff
7:30 till 8:00 P.M. "How to Add: My Math vs. The Math" - Karl Rove
8:00 P.M. Rifle Salute - Dick Cheney
8:05 P.M. Youth Recruiting Session - Mark Foley
8:15- 8:30 P.M. Homosexual Wedding - Ted Haggard
8:30 P.M. Strategic Planning 101 for Success: How to Know your Unknowns - Donald Rumsfeld
8:35 P.M. Prescription Drug Benefit Plan - How to Make it Work for You - Rush Limbaugh
9:00 P.M. Conrad Burns - "Doing a Piss-Poor Job" - How to insult firefighters as they save your mansions
9:15 P.M. Make-Up Application, 101 - Katherine Harris
9:20 P.M. Bussing in Homeless People to Hand Out Fake Information and Still Lose the MD Senate Election - Michael Steele, RNC Chairman-Elect
9:30 P.M. How I Hastened the Apocalypse - George Bush
9:40 P.M. How I Had to Call in Daddy's Foreign Policy Team - George Bush
9:45 P.M. Dancing up a Hurricane! "How I Went from the Arabian Horse Association to FEMA!" - Michael Brown
9:50 P.M. "When at first you don't succeed, try try again" - John Bolton
9:55 P.M. Water-Boarding 101 - Dick Cheney
10:00 P.M. The Price of Silence - $500,000 Not Enough when Strangling Your Mistress - Don Sherwood
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Jeb Bush by the risen Richard Nixon, with a greeting of roses led by Dick Cheney
11:00 P.M. The Lesbian Rapture - Lynne Cheney
11:15 P.M. Singing in Prison: My Adventures in A Capella - Scooter Libby
11:30 P.M. Loofahs, Falafel and Echo Chambers - Bill O'Reilly
12:00 A.M. How to Say Goodbye - Lincoln Chafee
12:05 A.M. Closing Sermon: Family Values - Ted Haggard
So any other suggestions or changes to the Republican Agenda?