From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
What a difference a day makes.
Housework pre-November 7: "Would it kill ya to pick your clothes off the floor once in a while, lazy slob?"
Housework post-November 7: "Your clothes are washed, ironed and folded, Dear. And I shingled the roof."
Raking the yard pre-November 7: "Stupid leaves! Damn Republican leaves!"
Raking the yard post-November 7: "How lucky I am to be out here raking leaves during a Nor'easter. Ain't nature a beaut'?"
The office pre-November 7: "You're late. That's going in your file."
The office post-November 7: "You're promoted. That's going in your file."
Spousal relations pre-November 7: "Not tonight, I have a headache."
Spousal relations post-November 7: "Not tonight, we already did it twice this morning and three times this afternoon."
Blogging pre-November 7: Clacka CLACKCLACK "Moron!" Clack CLACKACLACKA "Unconstitutional!" Clackclack!!!
Blogging post-November 7: Clackity clickity [Sip. "Ahhh!"] Clickity Click [Sip. "Ahhh!"] Click A'Clicky Clack...
In the outhouse pre-November 7: "Unnnggghhhh!!"
In the outhouse post-November 7: "Mmmmmm..."
Driving pre-November 7: "Watch where yer goin', idiot!"
Driving post-November 7: "Watch where yer goin', idiot!"
Okay, so some attitude adjustments might take a while...
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Note: Hey Baker Commission! When you're done with Iraq can you come advise me on how resolve the quagmire in my bathroom sink? Thx.
-
By the Numbers:
Days `til Thanksgiving: 9
Days `til the Rosendale (NY) International Pickle festival: 5
Number of times Joe Lieberman said he was an "Independent Democrat" on Meet the Press Sunday: 6
Percent of CT Democrats who voted for him: 33%
Percent of CT Republicans who voted for him: 70%
Percent of those surveyed who say they'd still "serve a meal that was ruined": 27%
(Source: Parade)
-
Your Puppy Pic of the Day: This week marks two years since the first appearance of C&J's now legendary puppy pic. Here's an encore of our very first one:
Attention bitches and sires! Please talk to your kids about the dangers of pot!
-
CHEERS to Ned Lamont. For the pitch-perfect thank-you note I got in my in-box Friday (I assume I'm the sole recipient because of who I am):
We didn't win, but we made a difference; tomorrow we start again. Don't stop now, we're just beginning. It starts with one person standing up and speaking out, and then a lot of people, powered by grassroots and net roots and a passion to do better. That's what I heard all over the state: we can do better.
The last week of the campaign was so heartening, traveling the state in a big old campaign bus stopping by hot dog stands and rallies and, finally, polling stations. The bus sang out a little Marley or U2 as we wheeled into some of the towns and folks responded with hi fives and big grins. Kids ran up and shouted, "And so do we!" They responded to a fun, positive message of hope and I loved the fact that we won the overwhelming majority of the votes in the mock school elections around the state. And then on election day, there you were, standing in the rain at the polling stations into the evening waiting for the last of the voters to straggle in.
We worked our hearts out; it's ironic that our message of change did not carry the day in Connecticut but it helped spark a sea change in Congress. Let's make sure they act boldly: bring our troops home from Iraq to the hero's welcome they deserve, invest in our kids, invest in clean energy, universal healthcare, a government that respects our constitution, our right to privacy, and shows respect for other nations and cultures. We will be a stronger and better nation for it.
Meanwhile, Sunday on Meet the Press, Joe Lieberman pledged to continue fighting to make life more comfortable for the oppressed minority called Joe Lieberman. Nice move, Connecticut.
JEERS to glaring omissions. Newsweek's post-election Conventional Wisdom Watch is a must-read this week. But C&J notes that, while Rahm and Chuck get smoochies for last Tuesday's victory, Howard Dean is nowhere to be found. May one of your arrows find its way into your kiester, eds.
CHEERS to 1-800-BITE-ME. President Bush wants his thugs in Congress to officially bless his unconstitutional warrantless wiretap program while they're still in the majority. Two words: Fat chance. Please hang up and try again. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzz....
WHATEVER to the lame-duck congress. It's back in session for a half-hearted attempt to confirm John Bolton's second go-round as U.S. Hater of the U.N., approve the aforementioned wiretapping, and free up some money to keep America's lights on. But mostly it'll be packing, packing, packing as Democrats prepare to move into their suites and Republicans prepare to move into their cubicles. Please, Kossacks: give generously to the Lysol disinfectant fund. God only knows what kind of creepy-crawlies the other guys will leave behind.
CHEERS to crusher's remorse. Thanks partly to the bad publicity generated by the movie Who Killed the Electric Car (out today on DVD), GM now says it's bringing back a new prototype next year:
The new car...would use an onboard internal-combustion engine as a generator to produce electricity to extend the range of the vehicle's rechargeable batteries. [...] Some environmental activists also seemed intrigued by the idea, noting that though it is not a "pure" electric vehicle like the battery-powered EV1, a generator-driven hybrid electric car would still consume far less fuel than a vehicle that relied on a larger, thirstier gasoline or diesel engine for propulsion.
An added plus: the bumpers are made of hemp.
JEERS to Cokie Roberts. After apparently hiking her pants up to her neck Sunday morning, the ABC News pundit informed the nation that, if you're a musician---like, say, former Orleans lead singer John Hall---you shouldn't run for Congress. Further, if a musician actually wins an election, guffawing at the silliness of it all is fair game. Unlike, say, a B-list actor who once shared the screen with a monkey named Bonzo.
CHEERS to Jack Palance. The actor who established his rotten-guy image in Shane and redeemed himself in City Slickers, has died at 87. Too bad...he was a casting director's dream to play Don Rumsfeld. Memo to God: how ya like them one-armed pushups?
CHEERS to Grandpa Blogger. Wow, Josh Marshall's Talking Points Memo turned six years old yesterday. Isn't it time he got a real job?
JEERS to hell on earth. Thanks to yesterday's "daring daytime raid" of 150 people from Baghdad's Ministry of Higher education and Scientific Research---right under the noses of the Coalition of the Willing---the city's universities have been closed "until security improves." Since Baghdad lacks the electricity to allow students to take online courses, the Baker Commission is airdropping 10,000 "...For Dummies" books. (We hear the one on blues guitar is hep.)
JEERS to Tim Russert. In Friday's C&J, we took the Meet the Press host to task for booking Joe Lieberman and John McCain as his guests five days after Democrats smoked Republicans out of their holes. Sunday a contrite Timmah said he "extended invitations to the new Democratic leaders in the House and Senate, incoming Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Majority Leader Harry Reid. Both declined our invitation." Got that, kids? Reid and Pelosi are the only Democratic leaders on the whole planet. The liberal media machine chugs on.
CHEERS to something George Allen can do with his free time besides whistle Dixie. In addition to the aforementioned Who Killed the Electric Car?, the Tom Hanks mullet showcase The DaVinci Code is out today on DVD. Also: the remake of Lassie. In this adventure she runs deep into the wilderness to save an endangered species: moderate Republicans.
-
One Year Ago in C&J: November 14, 2005...
CHEERS to Jimmy Carter. The former president and Nobel Peace Prize winner has the #1 book on the New York Times bestseller list. From Publishers Weekly:
Criticizing Christian fundamentalists for their "rigidity, domination and exclusion," he suggests that their open hostility toward a range of sinners (including homosexuals and the federal judiciary) runs counter to America's legacy of democratic freedom. Carter speaks eloquently of how his own faith has shaped his moral vision and of how he has struggled to reconcile his own values with the Southern Baptist church's transformation under increasingly conservative leadership. He also makes resonant connections between religion and political activism, as when he points out that the Lord's Prayer is a call for "an end to political and economic injustice within worldly regimes."
I believe my local independent bookseller will be getting a visit from me today.
-
And just one more...
CHEERS to saying goodbye. Craig Ferguson offers a fond look back at Rummy and his dog and pony show. I hear Bob Gates does wonders with Play-Doh.
-
Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
-
Today's Shameless Testimonial:
"I love Cheers and Jeers very much and am so lucky to be able to serve it in the United States Senate."
---Senator Russ Feingold
11/12/06
-