This post includes information about Laurel Hester, a lesbian suffering from terminal cancer in Ocean County, New Jersey who fought for, and won, the right to leave her pension benefits to her partner, Stacie Andree. What follows in an interview with Stacie herself.Stacie Andree is worried. The thirty year-old auto mechanic has certainly had more than her fair share of worries over the past eighteen months. Her domestic partner, Laurel Hester, is dying from terminal cancer. And after Stacie and Laurel tried to get domestic partner benefits from Laurel's employer--Ocean County, NJ--the two women found themselves embroiled in a protracted and controversial struggle with the five Republican freeholders who govern Ocean County. But none of that is what troubles Stacie just now.
She is worried that no one knows how grateful she is for all the support she and Laurel received during their long fight for equality--a fight that they finally won last month. (The rest below the fold. Crossposted at the
BigGayPicture.)
"I've mentioned it to several reporters," says Stacie. "But I've never seen it printed anywhere and I'm worried people think I don't know we wouldn't be in the place we are now without their support. I mean all their emails and phone calls and the copies of To Kill a Mockingbird people sent. It all made a difference. I'm so thankful to them from the bottom of my heart."
It's not only those who supported Laurel and Stacie that Stacie wants to thank. She also wants to thank the freeholders who, after opposing extending domestic partner benefits for almost a year, did something the Republican freeholders of Ocean County apparently haven't done in 140 years: taken a public position on something, and then reversed the decision later. (Four of the five did at any rate. Freeholder John Kelly was absent during the vote that finally passed the domestic partner benefits. Kelly later told the press he still would have voted no.)
"I never thought they would reverse themselves," says Dane Wells, the straight man who fought side-by-side with Laurel and Stacie. "It's so wonderful they finally did."
"I know it sounds funny," says Stacie. "But I do have respect for the freeholders for holding out so long for what they believe. Obviously, I disagree with them, but I respect how fiercely they stood for their beliefs. And I truly appreciate that they were willing to change their position. I want to personally thank them for signing the resolution."
When asked if she is angry about the time she and Laurel were forced to waste over the past twelve months, Stacie is quiet for a moment. "No," she says. "I mean what's the point? I could have been very angry at the freeholders for fourteen months, but I decided to spend that time with Laurel not being mad. It just seemed like it was better to try and figure out how to get the freeholders to change their minds."
Not that Stacie doesn't regret the energy that went into that fight. "Laurel and I could have had better nights together if I hadn't had to come home and go online and deal with this paper and that paper. Yeah, we could have had a lot more quality time together. But I don't blame people because it's done and over with, and I can't change it by saying `Damn them'."
It's a typical Stacie response. She comes across as a no-nonsense, practical person. It's no wonder she wound up partnered with Laurel. Both women are hardworking, ethical people who only want what they are entitled to and nothing more. And both want to make the world a better place. That goal is something that the freeholders inadvertently helped them achieve by holding out for so long thereby bringing national and international attention to their cause.
Dane Wells says of Stacie, "My girlfriend says I've never spoken so highly of anyone. But I shouldn't be surprised that Laurel is with someone so good. Stacie is the unsung hero in all this because she's quiet and unassuming. She works six days a week for minimum wage, won't take a single phone call while on the clock, and works extra hours so she can get extra time off to be with Laurel. Nor does Stacie realize the gravity of what she's done."
Inspired by Laurel and Stacie's battle, at least four other New Jersey counties added domestic partner benefits, as did several municipalities. The state legislature dramatically expanded the state's domestic partner benefits. Steven Goldstein of Garden State Equality suspects that Laurel and Stacie's case has even impacted the Supreme Court judges who will be hearing the case concerning New Jersey's laws against same-sex marriage.
"I know Laurel is proud of what we did," says Stacie. "And she would have been even if we hadn't won in the end, since it would have been all right because of all the other people who would have benefited. That's why Laurel became a cop, to help people, and this helped a lot of people."
When asked what it's like to be so well-known, Stacie laughs. "People walk by [the garage where she works] and give me the thumbs up sign. You know, I haven't had a single bad reaction. My two bosses tell me people asked about me and said they hoped the freeholders would change their minds. I never imagined Laurel and I would be so well known." She paused before continuing. I still don't believe we are. I was at work this morning, all greasy working on a car, and I thought to myself `I'm not anybody. I'm just somebody's mechanic working on the cars.'"
It's certainly not the situation Stacie imagined finding herself in when she left Oreland, PA the small town where she grew up. "No, it wasn't easy to be gay there," she says. "I was a tom-boy so it was pretty obvious I was a lesbian. But my family was very open-minded. My mom was great when I told her I was gay."
In fact, her mom has been a huge source of support in dealing with Laurel's illness. Stacie lost her father to cancer and her mother took care of him while he was ill. "I know when I can't be there with Laurel that she's in good hands with my mom. We really appreciate her."
There is one other person Stacie wants to make sure the world knows she appreciates:
Dane Wells, the self-described straight, white, middle-aged Bush supporter who put his life on hold to right the injustice he saw being done to Laurel and Stacie. When asked about him, Stacie laughs and says, "Dane is all that and a bag of chips. He was my rock during this whole thing. When I had bad days, he was there. He answered questions. He helped with the freeholders again and again. Helped with getting Laurel retired, getting her paperwork, her gun, her badge. He was just great, great support."
Indeed, the two of them have found that they have more than Laurel in common. Both are race car fanatics. Dane even has two drag cars. There is a race track nearby and the two of them plan to go watch the races. "I've no doubt we'll keep being friends," says Stacie.
You can add that to the list of good things the freeholder's inadvertently did.