America is addicted to oil, which is often imported from unstable parts of the world.
President Bush calls 'em like he sees 'em. During his State of the Union Address, he had the tenacity to label our oil consumption "an addiction." And George W. Bush knows a thing or two about dangerous substances -- he ran an oil company. Into the ground. He was also an alcoholic. I think he smoked weed. Oh, and he snorted cocaine too.
So, here we are. America. A great country with a terrible addiction to oil. We find ourselves in the midst of a war with a nation that sits on top of the world's
second largest oil reserve. And Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld
calls to remind us:
It has nothing to do with oil, literally nothing to do with oil.
Now, say I'm a crack addict and I bust a cap in a crack dealer's ass. Would you believe me if I told you, "it had absolutely nothing to do with crack"? No. Unless you're a journalist.
But, ignore the war for a moment. Pretend it doesn't exist. The fact is, not one single president since Bill Clinton has had the courage to say America needs to end its dependence on Middle East oil. That says something about George W. Bush's leadership.
Yesterday, our drug dealer got shot. The world's largest oil production plant was attacked when suicide bombers attempted to storm the Saudi facility. Two guards died and another two were injured. On news of the attack, the price of crude oil surged, making its biggest gain in over a month. George Gero of RBC Financial Group told reporters:
We have a good rally going on because of what's going on in Saudi Arabia.
Nothing conveys the devastation of a terrorist attack like calling it "a good rally." But to an elite group of investors, Saudi royalty and oil executives, it was a good day. Every time something even threatens to hinder our supply of oil, a solid bar of gold falls out of a Saudi prince's ass. Which reminds me of that Jeff Foxworthy routine, "You know you're a greedy oil tycoon if you make a dollar every time an Arab dies." That one always gets me.
I think I understand. Oil consumption is like a drug addiction. But, if you're making money on the drug, you're not the addict. You're the pusher. Now, what does the American government do with convicted drug dealers?
(cross-posted at Sensei Stern's House of Teddy)