NEW BUSH STRATEGY FOR VICTORY
By Peter Fredson
March 20, 2006
George W. Bush, trying hard to please the American public, seems to have hit upon a brilliant idea to revive the fading polls of his popularity. He has decided to give a speech, perhaps two or three or a dozen. In this way he can try through soporific means, to lull the public and give them a look inside of his fantasy life. It worked well several years ago, and his polls shot up several points.
It is true that he has already given those speeches. Several times.
It is apparent that neither he nor Karl Rove nor Dick Cheney has any new ideas, but they intend to stay the course. That's the best way. If the first ten times you do not succeed in a course, if it has failed continually, then, it is obvious that like the little engine that could, to try it an eleventh time. There is something about not having an exit strategy that leaves a great deal of room for quibbling and obfuscating.
The new Bush plan will really cause no trouble or expense. You simply take the old speeches and paraphrase them. Add a few of the wonderful clichés that brought previous successful failure, like "Democracy", "Liberty", "Sovereignty", then mention quietly the disastrous 9/11 about another hundred times, and you will have recaptured your old fundamentalist base.
You can always scare the crap out of Americans by mentioning Osama bin Laden, the Muslim Monster who will kill us all in our sleep with shoe bombs, heavy nail-clippers, and sharp scissors of Islam.
Obviously you never lost your corporate neocon base because there is enormous profit in invasion and the destruction of war, which will let you be very inventive in finding some pretext to con the American public into another war, or two. Remember, profit for the neocon is the bottom line.
Be sure you never mention Abu Grab, secret jails, torture and abuse, kidnapping of foreigners, renditions, warrant less arrests, indefinite detentions, Guantanamo or Geneva Convention. Trot out your favorite sycophant attorney-general to explain exactly how you are above the law, superior to the Constitution, and how wiretapping citizens can lead to amazing breakthroughs in the world wide war against terror.
Then bring out Condi, Dick, Karl, and Donald, daily, to explain the new mushroom clouds which will wipe out Crawford, Washington, and Boston Harbor, even now being prepared by the very evil Iran, Syria and North Korea.
Explain daily that you do not intend to make war on Iran, at the present moment, but don't tell anyone that five minutes after the present moment your planes and missiles might take off and destroy those evil infidels and their evil intentions, not to mention evil religion, political system, economy and evil culture. Of course, with your reputation as a liar, no one will believe you, except for Republican Senators, but they will swallow anything.
Dance your war dance, rattle the sabers, fix bayonets, lock and load, and send troops in to die for you and Condi and Dick and Donald. Oh, it is glorious to be some kind of War President, even if we don't know exactly where the war is. The point is to be able to strut and swagger and smirk as befits a chosen one, someone for whom purple robes were intended, and someone on whom a golden crown would look very well.
Explain how ungrateful those Muslims are because you tried so hard to bring them peace, prosperity, democracy, freedom and sovereignty under your imperial benevolent embrace. Little Condi Rice has been telling them for several years, that they are ungrateful to the point of malevolence, and that they might suffer some kind of consequences for being so intransigent in refusing to accept the famous brand of Bush friendship and diplomacy, under which they would be permitted to remain alive.
War and terror pay off to a President who is falling behind in the polls. If the domestic economy, the environment, the give-away of industry, of selling off national property, show your incompetence, then scream "Look, terror. Look, evil intentions. Look, 9/11, 9/11. Booger-man, Booger-man"
It has worked for five years, and there is no reason given the ignorance, gullibility and dumb obedience of sheep-like True Believers that they will abandon you. After all, they fully intend you to lead them into Paradise, after destruction of the Universe. Nothing you say or do, except appoint Harriet to a judgeship, will sway your captive Christian audience.
If that doesn't work, you might call attention to the fact that gays actually live, breathe and inhabit our pious United States. That should do it. The Governor of Massachusetts will be on your side forever. If a nipple happens to peek out of some clothing, God Forbid, send out the troops and secret police and prepare the firing squad.
Good work, George. You've taken a good democracy and made a fine fascist corporate theocracy out of it, without much difficulty.
No wonder you smile so broadly. Now try smirking. It suits you well.