Two nights ago, my girlfriend of 5 months told me that she voted for Bush. It came up somehow in the course of pre-sleep conversation when I flippantly asked her the dreaded question. I was almost sure I already knew the answer, but I was just curious enough to ask anyway. To my horror, she paused, the tone of the conversation changed, and she revealed to me the sin of all sins. She not only voted for him, she waited 4 1/2 hours in line to do so. Shortly after, she broke into tears and said she felt like vomitting. She felt as though she had cheated on me by not telling me before. She was disgusted and embarrased by her choice and was sure I would break up with her on the spot or that this would carve a deep rift in our relationship.
I don't know why, but I wasn't really upset with her. Maybe it was because she was so visibly upset with herself that I didn't feel like I should pile on. Maybe it's because in some sick way I'm enjoying watching Bush implode and think his reelection is a boon to the reemergence of the liberal movement. Or maybe I've moved beyond anger and now truly want to understand why it happened so it doesn't happen again. Why did so many intelligent people make such an ass-backward stupid fuck decision? Please follow me while I explore why my girlfriend, the elusive registered independent Ohio swing voter, waited in line longer than she's ever waited in line for anything in her life, to vote for W.
To begin, let's consider her background. She grew up in Holmes county near Millersburg, a conservative area of Ohio in the heart of Amish Country. Her parents are both Republicans and have a picture of Bush on their refrigerator. They are solidly middle class but achieve this status only by some miracle. Her mom, at age 60, works three jobs(legal assistant,church organist,convenient store clerk) and her dad hunts and traps (still sells pelts!) and does odd construction jobs. Her parents are very traditional and have not always supported the fact that she's opinionated, outspoken about the importance of women being considered equal to men in relationships, and that she has a career and has often placed more importance on it than starting a family. She claims that, "They (her parents) don't know what to do with me."
She is now a 31-year-old 8th grade reading teacher in Columbus, Ohio. Moving to the City was a huge transition for her. At the start of her first year of teaching, she met her current best friend, also a reading teacher at the same school. Her best friend is an uber liberal and has helped her to be less repressed.
Generally speaking, my girlfriend is conflicted. She's a quirky, idea filled, fun woman who is trying to find out who she is and who she wants to be but feels she has to be who her family wants her to be, a subservient wife and mother.
On November 2, 2004, she drove to her polling station in New Albany and began the long wait. She claimed that she didn't know who she was going to vote for until she stepped into the booth (One of those). She went back and forth in her mind for four and a half hours and when it was her turn stepped into the booth and something something made her decide to vote for W. The teachers union was adamently against him. She is pro-choice. She's against the Iraq war. She loves hollywood. She has as many gay friends as straight. Her best friend is a huge liberal. She's a Christian but currently attends a Methodist church with a gay mens choir. And she still voted for W.... Folks, I know that a bunch of you out there think the election was stolen in Ohio and you may be right, but the fact remains that something went seriously wrong. My girlfriend should have gotten our vote, hands down. Yes, I know, she made a stupid, ignorant, ass-brained decision. But guess what. So did lots of other intelligent people. Somehow, our message failed. Continue with me as I explore why my girlfriend made what I hope will be the worst decision of her life.
First, she said that most of the liberal people she'd met-her best friend and the union members- had been so 'in-your-face' and 'irrational' about their hatred for Bush, that she became defensive. Defensiveness was one of the biggest reasons she wound up voting for W.
Next, let's not forget her background. For whatever reason, her family and regional background won out over her personal convictions. What are the implications of this? Was this conflict felt by many Americans? Did Bush's projection of morality, tradition, and security make her feel safer, more secure and comfortable? Was this something felt by the 'average voter'?
My final thought is that there was an intangible, some type of archetypal undercurrent that pushed her over the edge for Bush. She did not know who she was going to vote for until the moment she stepped into the booth. She deliberated for 4 1/2 hours! And she wasn't deliberating about issues. She knows little about the issues and feels apathetic about politics in general. She's smart, but she's also obsessed with celebrity gossip, fashion, and her appearance. She is as in-tune with pop culture and appearances as anyone I know. I am convinced that in Bush and his message she saw a winner, the appearance and more importantly, the feel, of a winner.
In the end, I believe that the Republicans projected an underlying current that, despite Bush's best efforts at sabotaging himself, helped to push swing voters, at the final moment, to cast their ballots for W. I believe that most Americans, like my girlfriend, will never know or care much about politics. Many will, however, vote. And they will make decisions not based on issues, but overwhelmingly on an intangible feeling they experience that at the last moment makes them vote for one candidate over another.