Cross-posted from my co-blogger Mike G's post at
Iowa Liberal
These are difficult days for the religious fundies here in Iowa City. For the life of them they can't figure out the mysteries of God's selective wrath. While God may have sent a tornado ripping through the heart of Iowa's version of Sodom and Gomorrah he didn't seem to be too worried about some of the other victims of destruction. To clear up some of the confusion I have surmised the following:
* God has punished Ford for building gluttonous SUVs by hitting Carousel Motors on the outskirts of town.
* God loves the Mc Donalds across the road from Carousel Motors despite their satanic clown.
* God also hates the Chrysler dealership on Riverside Drive (obviously to get back at them for selling that AMC Gremlin right out from under me!)
* God hates the Dairy Queen across the road.
* God prefers Lindner Tire Service over Professional Muffler next door. No surprise considering they once sold me a faulty catalytic convertor. He also spared the near by Mc Donalds. AGAIN! The Hamburglar must have mended his ways.
* God hates St. John's Catholic Church. A LOT. I mean he really hates that place.
* God enjoys Papa John's pizza but absolutely despises Happy Joe's.
* God loves Gabe's.
* God loves Kappa Kappa Gamma but hates Alpha Chi Omega. (Teaching Jen once and for all never to fuck with Trish's boyfriend again!)
* Though he does not like it when we laugh at his earthly servant George W. Bush, he still approves of
Iowa Liberal overall.
* God hates Brian of
Iowa Voice because he's still unemployed.