Enough of this controversy. It's time for Colbert to apologize - maybe something like this will do:
I want to offer an apology. A great deal of controversy has unfolded since my remarks at the White House Correspondents dinner last weekend. Apparently the President, Mrs. Bush, and the entire Washington press corps thought I was horribly unfunny.
Well folks, I'm sorry I was unfunny, but these are seriously unfunny times. I support this president. I support the way he leads with his gut. I support they way he stands on important things like aircraft carriers, rubble and recently-flooded cities. And I am not alone folks, because nearly one-third of Americans stand with me and the President.
But maybe I went too far. I noticed President Bush was uncomfortable during some of my remarks. I understand. It's not easy sitting on the dais while one of your biggest supporters is heaping unqualified praise upon you. I feel the same way at my staff meetings.
As for the press corps? Well, I'm sorry if I was a bit rough, but you guys needed to be called to task. You are clearly not with us. And if you're not with us, you're against us. You guys were doing fine during the President's first term. What happened? Did you lose your nerve? You're scaring the American public with stories about dead soldiers in Iraq, ballooning deficits, skyrocketing gas prices, secret prisons and wiretapped phones. Where do you get off? You think just because the President's poll numbers are in the toilet you can kick a man when he's down? Some friends you are. You're the Press Corps, so why don't you just Press the following buttons on the computer: P-R-E-S-I-D-E-N-T B-U-S-H S-A-I-D and then whatever comes next. That's it. End of story. Spell check and file.
So I apologize if my remarks made people uncomfortable. I'm sorry if I "crossed the line" in my service to this president and this country. And I'm sorry I called the press out for failing to support this President with me. Next time, I'll make sure I sprinkle some light criticism in when I heap praise upon the President, and I'll make sure to say a few nice things about the press so your feelings don't get hurt.