My fellow Kossacks, it's time, or damn near, for all of us wacky little liberals to get used to a few painful facts.
Firstly, Al Gore is not going to run for president. I think many of us are finally getting used to this idea, as tragic as it may be. Don't get me wrong, if Gore decided to run I would immediately leave my comfortable home and universal healthcare in Canada to work in any capacity in his campaign. And I mean any capacity, including, but not limited to: dancing for nickels in front of his campaign headquarters, forcibly putting buttons on homeless people, even reading the poor guy the news and singing soothing lullabyes when he's worn down from the trail. It just aint going to happen, which is all the more tragic considering my second inconveniant truth.
The saddest thing about Gore not refusing to run, is that he's the only truly, and honestly progressive candidate that could really win. This, my dear friends, is due to a simple fact: the rest of the world just doesn't agree with us. It doesn;t mean that we aren't right, it just means that the majority of Americans are much more comfortable with politicians closer to the center. At the very least, the candidate will need to be able to sound like they're in the centre. Even Kerry was too far to the left for most people (yeah, yeah, he won the election, why don't you just put that into your tin-foil hat next to global warming and the so-called 51st state, hippies). This bodes well for certain future candidates like Obama, Clinton, Clark et al., but not so much for many of our favourites.
This means you, Senator Feingold. If people were interested in voting for a politician who is honest, resolute, forthright, informed and intelligent, with the will and resolve to actually lead a country, they would have voted for Gore in the first place (I know, but you can put that one in your magic hippy hat too). You just aren't electable. I mean, you keep saying what you actually believe, and you seem to be willing to take unpopular stances, just because you think that they're the right ones to make! Not only will people never vote for you, most Americans refuse to believe you even exist.
Maybe if you tried, just once, to take an inexplicable stand that goes against everything you believe in only to benefit a powerful state lobbyist, people would think you related to them more. Just one tiny impropriety and/or massive elections fraud would go a long way to showing people you have nothing to hide. This is just my humble advice, and remember, i'm almost always wrong about everything, but one of these times I'm bound to be right by accident.
Furthermore, we aren't gong to get anywhere appealing to the public and elected officials to investigate the myriad criminal offences of this government. Even if we win in November. This is for a very simple, understandable reason that I just haven't figured out yet. I'm working on it, so why don't we all just calm down and smoke some chronic bud while I work on it. Not that I'm saying all of you hippies are drug abusing dope fiends, but really, most of you are, and you're all holding out on me. This has to stop. Puff, puff, pass, people! Social fucking contract theory!
Now that I'm all riled up, let me get a one more thing off my chest. The Republicans are absolutely right to put this marriage amendment thing before the senate. Just because it had no hopes of passing doesn't mean they shouldn't take a grand stand! I mean, if homosexuals are even given the hope, the barest possibility of equal rights, all hell will break loose. As i'm currently in Canada, you should take this as personal experience. Gay marriage has destroyed the family unit up here, and sent us careening down that proverbial slippery slope. Want proof? Just yesterday I heard that a husband and wife, opposite sexes mind you, are getting a divorce! For shame. Plus, I'm pretty sure I saw a pregnant guy yesterday.
Had enough wisdom yet? Fine, I'm bored anyways. Instead of a conclusion, how about a poll