It's starting to feel like Grenada time. America is getting that bogged down, nothing working, no-good, rotten, military miasma, quagmire feeling. It's time for a crisp, clean, thrilling VICTORY! You remember Grenada, don't you? After the stunning loss of over 200 Marines in a single terrorist bombing in Lebanon, Ronzo (Cut and Run) Reagan desperately needed a victory. Fortunately, an uppity Marxist government on the tiny island of Grenada was available as a target. The rest is part of American military theater history.
Here are some suggestions for our next glorious conquest:
1. Liechtenstein. The King of Liechtenstein has not been sufficiently supportive of the WAR ON TERROR, and he has a great art collection that we could trash to show the world we are tough.
2. Aruba. We could dress up some CIA people as Cuban secret agents working at clandestine WMD sites and mount a lightning strike to protect American tourists from terrorism.
3. Puerto Rico. We could get Jose Padilla to confess to the existence of terrorist cells in Puerto Rico. What could be more convenient than conquering a country we have already conquered? Let's get out that old waterboard!
4. Cambridge, Massachusetts. This nest of traitors contains the lair of the dreaded Noam Chomsky, the evil academician who dares to describe accurately the actions of the Bush Administration. Let's show those effete liberal snobs who is boss!
Feel free to suggest other targets for a quick win. Why wait for an October surprise? Cheney/Bush need a lift now. We need a cheap victory (and we can't afford anything else).