GHOST-WRITTEN by William Jefferson Ulysess Pleasanton farmer, low-power AM broadcaster, commentator, friend to some, enemy to...
Gonzo: Now that you are in the news today with this no fluids on the air planes bees-wax, I'm reminded of somethin' that really has been bothering me. Something I've been meaning to say. Something that the Main Street Media wouldn't touch with a ten-foot, something the bloggers ain't fussin around 'bout much. Today, I'm calling you on it.
You are laughing at me. And I know it.
When you speak, seems you tilt your head just a twitch upwards, and lift your lip like a mutated Elvis, so that would otherwise be a smile is - a bald face laugh!
Reckon I expect better from the Attorneys Generals of This Here United. I don't expect much, but I expect better. Ashcroft was an idgit-brained lunatic, but at least he had the common decency not to laugh at a body in his most fascistic moments, and to hold to a straight Sour-Puss, the kind you'd right expect from a intolerable tyrant laying out his own special brand of Justice for All.
But with you Gonzo, what is this Quintessence of Slaphappy?
Now, you may be thinking that I don't know that you know you are laughing at me. But in that belief you are powerful wrong.
And you may think that I think you are just puttin' it on -- like its just a way to be able to sell the harsh medicine that the Bush Administration needs to dole out every day to ol' ladies and mothers of young children, like a bedside manner kind of thing. Trying to make Homeland Security seem more 'user-friendly,' as they say. But that dog won't. No that dog won't blankety-blank at all!
You might think its a kind of Forward Pass through the mass media, over my head to your conservative friends so you can say "I laughed at him and he didn't know it," but that ain't straight. I do know it, Gonzo.
None of this is to say I don't see your particular reasoning for laughter. 'Taint like your side ever loses. You and your fibbing, torture-loving, law hushing, in your face signing-statement crafting Neocon Team can easily flick off anything the forces of liberty can field today.
You hold the cards, you sneaky little possum. Especially the orange alert card. When things get good for us, and bad for your team, its time for another sip of what we call in the country the "Orange Pop" to get everybody on their guard. Fer instance, in July of Twenty Thousand and Four, when Kerry finally did something good and up and picked Johnny Edwards for his veep, why the orange spread like cholera! Of course since then, there hasn't much electioneering going on, and so we ain't seen much Orange.
But With midterms coming down the pike, and with gas costing more than whiskey, it's time for More Scare. This I comprendo, amigo.
(By the way there are many I know who are thankful that compared to the price of gas, whiskey seems cheap.)
But back to the point. Isn't just crushing liberty enough? Do you have to sneer about it? ain't just doing it enough of a thing in itself?
The Torture and The Gitmo, the wiretaps, and taking my liberties, the watching the money that I'd send outside the US, as if I had any, the signing statements and the Orange Pops and all that lard, I don't like it. Not happy about it. But I've reached a kind of what you call a "philo-sopheekal dey-tant" with that. 'taint happy, but 'taint surprised. And too tired fer fighting about it neither.
That's all polyticking. But laughing at me. That's personal. That's insult. If you must be evil, just go ahead and be evil. Don't be gettin' a kick out of it, too.
PS: The real crime of it, is that its rubbing off on others. Just today, The President of BP Oil was also laughing at me when he said that even though his company clipped the pipe in Alaska, it was gonna take some real time to look into how he could fix it, a few more months of high prices. And the whole time, he was laughing. But not only me. He was laughing at Matt Lauer too -- when he asked him if BP Oil would be kicking in for the high gas prices we got to pay.
And when you laugh at Matt Lauer, you really laugh at America.
Bill Pleasanton broadcasts on low power AM in Bociphus (pop. 9). He is podcasted to millions, though far too few subscribe.