UPDATE - if anyone else sees fit to comment here, I'd like to ask that no one else call my husband and me prostitutes. It's just not very cool. Thank you. Now, on with the show:
My husband and I have a very dear friend with a VERY wingnutty dad. We spend a lot of time with their family, and are quite fond of them. Lately, though, we've found ourselves in a bit of a social/moral pickle. It's been a pretty hefty bone of contention between the husband and me, so I thought I'd throw it out there and ask my favorite group of 'net denizens.
Every time we see this friend of ours and her folks, they take us to dinner in pretty lavish places. Her dad's a banker and makes major bank, and they're really generous about sharing it with us. Problem is, when we're basically a captive audience, he loves to launch into heavy wingnut tirades. He'll go on and on, pretty much regardless of our widely-known stances on everything.
For example, twice this weekend, we were trapped at these sorts of meals. The first time, we were at dinner with an old family friend of theirs who is on close personal terms with Rick Santorum (to protect anonymity, I can't say how). There was much discussion of "liberal corruption" in Philadelphia and Pennsylvania, including what sounded to me like an endorsement of the bombing of the MOVE house back in the 80s. The second time, I mentioned to my husband at breakfast that Ned Lamont was on TV, and he launched into the standard (and wrong) talking points on "liberal fringe" and "low turnout" in the primary. Making it worse, we were there because my friend's grandmother had died the same day, so we were really uncomfortable making a scene.
Now, we both agree that we are trapped, and we're uncomfortable making issue with this because of how generous they are to us. My husband's response to these tirades is to sit silently and passively, with no response whatsoever, waiting out the storm. I prefer to reply in non-controversial terms, eventually changing the subject.
So here's my question to y'all: How can we get out of these situations without a) causing a scene and b) selling out our values? We're at our wits' ends; help!